An interview with Barbara Azzara
By Charles Cresson Wood
14 June 2010
CW: Can you tell us about your personal spiritual journey and some of the messages you have learned?
BA: To begin, I'd like to quote something that I wrote in 1979: "We must have patience. This human experience is a forever eternal process." Now, when I look back at that, I think what a smug ass I was to say that. I thought I had arrived, that I had "it," that I was never going to fight with God again, that I was never again going to fall into despair.
Over these past few years, I've had to learn what really is true, not merely what I demand, expect, or want to be true. By accepting reality, by really meeting and allowing what is to exist, my intuition has grown more reliable. In one sense I still agree with the quote. Specifically, I have realized that this reckoning with the truth is indeed a forever on-going process. Over these last 31 years, since I wrote the quote, in my attempt to become a master lover, I have realized, sometimes with great pain, that this truth attunement process is going to just keep going, and I think until our last breath. Thanks to my ego, back then I believed there was an end to it, like a period at the end of the sentence. We are recovering human beings and we will always walk that path back to Truth. We say we are "recovering" rather than "recovered" so that every time our issue comes up again, we will be reminded that we need both discipline and devotion to our spiritual practice.
This process is not about somebody being sick. This is not a psychological process. This is a spiritual journey about remembering and reclaiming who we really are, the part that once was "in Spirit." This is about knowing that when we chose to incarnate into human form, the very process of birthing created the belief in separation. We entered into the illusion. This earth plane holds the illusion that we are indeed separate. It holds the experience of duality. From this belief in separation comes our belief in fear. Our personal journey is to examine and challenge this fear. The only illusion on the planet is our belief in separation. We must hold it here gently and mercifully, and come to remember that love is also the source of our fear. Love is the source of everything -- even our fear. We must embrace where we are with acceptance, and that in turn will bring us back to our own self-loving.
What I would like to offer anybody who reads this article is my belief that, while we were in angelic form (in Spirit), we chose to come into this earth plane to bring Love where Love was not. For most of us, we thought we had a grand life purpose, but few of us realize and accept that the single purpose of our incarnation is to fall in love with ourselves.
Imagine for a moment loving yourself, and in the next moment, imagine meeting someone who also chooses to love themselves. Imagine the moment when you indeed remember that this was part of your soul's choice. Are you willing to invite yourself into the place where you remember that you are a manifestation of God, and your purpose on earth is to serve Him? Can you imagine that Love is the source of everything? Are you willing to imagine that everything that ever happened to you is the gift that you chose to bring you back to your own self-loving? And of course I am using Love and God synonymously here.
CW: So many people these days feel as though their lives are in chaos, or they feel like they're going through really big changes. What advice could you offer to people having these experiences?
BA: First, I would ask them to define chaos. What does that word really mean? I would suggest that chaos is the beginning of the deconstruction of their images [pictures about how life should be]. I suggest that chaos is fear's insistence that we stay where we are, which is in conflict with the heart's insistence that we move and evolve to another place. I invite anybody who says they are going through chaos or big changes to ask God to come in, to help them be open to seeing how they have a belief (a lie) that change is difficult. Let go, surrender to the truth, and hold your fear gently. And then ask another question: "What thought, or what habit, would you have to let go of, in order for change to be enjoyable, easy, and/or less of a struggle?"
CW: Could you tell us a little bit about what it takes to become a master of loving? What do people need to learn in order to reach this level of mastery?
BA: I have studied virtually every spiritual book around; I've studied with many masters; and I've inquired with dedication into what it would really mean to be a lover. Jiddu Krishnamurti had a quote that I resonate with, specifically, "To love is the most important thing in life, but what do you mean by love?" For me, love is a spiritual practice. It requires the greatest dedication and devotion. The full acceptance of self, that's what love is. Until we fall in love with ourselves, we will not be able to genuinely experience the love of another.
I believe that I must do unto myself before I can go on to do for others. I can't give to others what I have not yet given to myself. Soren Kierkegaard put it well when he said, "To cheat oneself out of love is the most terrible deception. It is an eternal loss for which there is no reparation either in time or in eternity."
Love is the source of everything. It changes your world view. For me, living in love is my greatest longing. If we engaged with each other in this way, and extrapolated the experience out to others, can you imagine what a world we would live in? The gift for me of this life is to open to the vastness of loving. If this sounds interesting to you, I invite you to call me. If you resonate with this, let's discover a conversation together.
Charles Cresson Wood, MBA, MSE, is a Pathwork helper based in Mendocino, California (see www.abundantreality.com). He has also written a Pathwork meditation book entitled Opening To Abundance (see www.amazon.com).
Contact Rev. Barbara Azzara (aka Glabman/Cohen)
530.432.3887 | Penn Valley, California
