Surrender and Control

Dear friends,
I speak to you from the heart of Christ consciousness. I am Jeshua, but I am not solely that one particular personality who lived on earth two thousand years ago. Here, I represent more than that. I represent the Christ energy that lives and vibrates in all of your hearts. The one who speaks here now thus also represents your own energy and vibration; it is your own heart-felt longing that is turned into words in this room we are sitting in.
Being together like this, is not simply about delivering a lecture….it is a gathering and celebration of the New Era. The awakening of a new consciousness seems to be far off at times. There seems to be so much disharmony and conflict in your world and, indeed, within yourselves as well. But yet the awakening has begun. A new dimension of consciousness is being birthed on earth right now, and after a long stage of preparation, it will gradually gain a foothold and spread a wave of enlightenment across the earth. You all take part in this wave of newly awakening consciousness, engulfing the earth right now. In many senses, you are that wave of energy.
“Surrender and control” is a big issue within this process of spiritual awakening, both at the individual level and at the collective level. At the political level, world leaders often find themselves confronted with this issue. It still is very difficult to be in charge politically and make decisions from the heart. Politics does not seem to be ready for this yet. Nonetheless, surrendering to the wisdom of the heart is the only way out of the great conflicts on earth right now, the only chance for a peaceful resolution of these conflicts.
The universal sense of connectedness and unity that is possible between people of very different races, religions or cultures, is the foundation for world peace. The recognition of each other as human beings, despite the external dissimilarities, is growing among the world population, and it is stimulated by your modern information technology, which greatly diminishes distances in time and space. At the same time, the growth towards mutual understanding is threatened by old, fear-based notions of “us” and “them”. Thinking in terms of good and bad, right and wrong, “us” and “them”, perpetuates age old hostilities and fuels a great deal of emotional turmoil. These divisive notions are still used by politicians to sustain their power.
However, what ultimately determines reality at the political level is you, the individual. Politics mirror the consciousness of the majority of individuals together. It is by the awareness of many independent individuals together that a new level of consciousness comes alive. Rather than dwell on the political level, I would now like to speak of the individual level, at which you are all working to integrate the energy of the heart into your lives and at which you are dealing with the issue of surrender and control.
Meanwhile I ask you to simply feel the energy of surrender, as it is gathered here today and flowing out of your hearts. You all strongly crave for the sense of liberation and trust that is inherent in surrender, letting go. But often, you do not know yet how to integrate this energy into your day to day lives.
What is the source of control in life? By control I mean: wanting to exert power over life, forcing it to flow according to your desires, which you perceive as right and just. Why do you mean to exert control over your life, and continually live in tension and anxiety because of it? The source of control is fear. Fear is deeply ingrained in the structure of your life: your upbringing, education and society. Control mechanisms are present everywhere and are taught to you as good habits. Apparently, you are a sensible, rational person if you want to have control over your life and organise it accordingly.
Surrender and unpredictability instil a sense of fear in you. Surrender you associate with giving up, not knowing what to do, being overwhelmed by emotional turmoil or crisis. This, however, is a very limited conception of surrender. It is a conception born from fear, from ego based consciousness. There is a much more positive notion of surrender, one that points at a lifestyle, a way of being, in which you live your life in trust, without the need to control, force or manipulate it.
The ego craves control because it is scared. The ego identifies with images that do not come from the soul but are fed to you from the outside world. The ego is constantly running around to preserve its self-image, be it successful businessman, caring housewife, or able therapist. It wants to keep up this image to have control over other people’s thoughts about you. However, there are always moments in which the ego fails and loses. This may be the case when you get overworked, sick or your relationship breaks down. The ego considers such crises, which at some point force you to let go and surrender, to be deathly blows.
The ego thus associates surrender with crisis. The ego lives in a continual alternation of control and crisis. Often, in moments of true crisis in your life, you are invited to look at the hidden treasure inside of it. There is always a positive element hiding within the crisis, which beckons you to get closer to the heart of you. In that way, life is always moving you closer to yourself, your inner knowing and wisdom, even if you live by the ego’s dictates. For there will always be situations in your life that challenge you to surrender sooner or later. Life is always offering you opportunities to choose surrender as a lifestyle.
You know this. You all know these moments of surrender after a crisis, precious moments of clarity and awareness, in which you realize you are carried by the flow of an invisible, divine breath. You realize this divine flow of life wants the best for you, and that you can rely on it even if it does not necessarily bring you what you expected. What you all long for is to live according to this higher consciousness more permanently; to incorporate this way of being into your everyday life, without having to be pushed into it by deep crisis and despair. You all long for surrender as a lifestyle.
You are all worn-out warriors. You have come a long way. Sometimes you feel very old and tired within, but it is better to say that you are very tired of the old…… You are searching for a way of being that is effortless – inspiring and yet light and flowing. The key is that you do not empty yourself out in your relationships, work or other goals, until you crash and crisis forces you to surrender. Take one step further, or rather take one step back, and focus on a lifestyle that is always marked by letting go, trust and surrender. Surrendering means: not struggling, not resisting but going along with the flow of life, trusting that life will offer you precisely what you need. Trust that your needs are known and will be met. Accept what is in your life right now and be present with it. About this way of living I wish to speak, as your longing for it is deep and sincere. It is a spiritual longing that comes from your soul, the divine flow within you.

Blockages on the way to surrender: three false gods

On the one hand, you desire to put down your masks and live openly according to the original blueprint of your soul. You long for sincerity, honesty, love and connectedness. On the other hand, letting down those masks is a very difficult thing for you. You have been raised with beliefs and structures that have become rooted in your psyches and that keep you from connecting to your own soul. In particular, I would like to address three idols or “false gods” that you often turn towards for guidance but which in fact take you off-center, out of the balance needed to live in surrender to who you really are.

The first idol: God as an authority above you

The first false god is God himself, that is to say God conceived as the lord and master of creation. That type of God is a human construction, an image of God that has deeply influenced your culture.
Many of you thinkthat you have let go of this traditional image of God. You say you do not believe anymore in a judging and punishing God, who stands high above you and keeps a record of your successes and failures like a school master. You say you believe in a God of Love, who forgives you at all times and who cherishes and encourages you. However, in the rigid and loveless way you often treat yourselves, this old God is still very much alive! Do you not often say to yourself that you have failed, that you are not right, that you should have progressed further, whether in the area of relationships, work, or the spiritual. You torture yourself with ideas like: I do not live up to God’s expectations, I am disappointing my spiritual guides or higher Self, I have failed my mission, I am not contributing anything meaningful to the world.
Many of you believe, secretly so to speak, that there is a higher order that you are supposed to answer or obey to. Whether it is a “soul mission” or a “life path” that has been laid out for you, a spiritual hierarchy that has an “assignment” for you, or a spiritual guide telling you what to do or where to go……in all those cases you believe in the existence of a higher authority, a spiritual level above you, that you had better listen to. But as soon as you believe in an authority outside of you, who is able to offer guidelines about what you should do in your life, we are back with the traditional God. According to this image, there is a level of truth, at which things are fixed and determined, and all you can do is live according to it or not. This is a false image.
Certainly, when you are born, there are intentions in your soul for the lifetime to come. One might call these your higher purpose for this lifetime, but it has not been ordained by anything outside of you. It is you yourself who has chosen it and it was born from your own desires and wishes. The things in your life that are “predetermined”- in the sense of very likely to happen, nothing is ever fixed completely - have been created and chosen by you. You can connect to your life purpose or higher inspiration anytime by listening to your feelings, to the voice of your heart, your deepest longings. I would advice you not to listen too much to high-strung spiritual doctrines about how you should live. Listen especially to the so-called lower part of you: powerful emotions that manifest in your everyday life. Through these emotions, the soul is trying to reach out to you and tell you something.
If you would like to know what your soul wants to tell you right now, look at the emotions that recur in your life often and absorb you the most. Look at them in a kind but honest way. Do not accuse anyone else of your emotions, do not pay attention to causes outside of you; see them as the result of your choices. For instance, if you are angry and annoyed often, where does that come from? Is there something you are lacking? What does the anger tell you? What is the message hidden within? Is it a sense of not being recognized or valued by others? Are you afraid to show them who you are, afraid to stand for your truth? Do you hide your true feelings often and is it difficult for you to clearly state your boundaries? Often, through the anger, a genuine message is crying out to you: a longing to be who you are, to show your original soul energy to the world. If you recognise your soul’s longing through the anger, you are seeing your angelic self shining through your inner child.
The angel inside of you is the “higher self” who wants to connect with physical reality, incarnate and shine its light upon earth reality. It is the knowing part. Your inner child is the passion of life itself: it is desire, emotion and creativity. It is the experiencing part. The child part in you is your “lower self”. The inner child is a source of joy and creativity, if it lives in harmony with the angel within. But if it breaks away from the angel’s caress and goes adrift, it is the source of emotions running wild. Anger will turn into hatred and vengeance. Fear will pervert into defence, neurosis and frustration. Sadness will deteriorate into depression and bitterness. The original emotions are pointers…messages from the experiencing part of you. It is the child that, through these emotions, reaches out its hands to the angel inside of you. The emotions express the pure, un-knowing experience. They are an expression of misunderstanding. It is in the connection to the angel that emotions can be picked up as pointers and understood. As such, the emotions become instruments for transformation and exploration: the “lower self” enriches and fulfils the higher self as it provides the knowing part with felt content. The angel in you comes to life and experiences deep joy if she is allowed to enlighten the child. And if the higher self shines through in this way, your emotional body quiets down and gains balance. The fruit of the flowing together of angel and child is an intuitive, inner knowing that can imbue your life with light and effortlessness.
The higher and lower principles in you, the angel and the child, are an organic, meaningful whole. The notions “higher” and “lower” therefore are not really right. It is about a joyful playing together of “knowing” and “experiencing”. It is this interplay that leads to true, incarnated (as opposed to theoretical) wisdom.
To find guidance about your life in the now moment, you can best address your inner child. By giving it the attention it needs, you shower it with your higher consciousness, the touch of the angel. To illustrate this, let’s return to the example above in which I spoke of anger and irritation. Once you have connected with this emotion and envisage it as a child, you can invite the child to come to you. You can ask it what it is upset about and what it needs from you to heal. Let the child answer you and allow it to express itself very clearly. Imagine it talking to you in a lively way, with a distinct expression on its face and clear body language. Perhaps it is giving you specific answers, such as “I want you to quit your job!” or “I want to take dancing lessons”, or they may be more general, like “I need to play and relax more” or “I can’t be nice all the time, you know!” Take the answer seriously and live according to it as much as possible. Maybe you cannot instantly do the things your inner child desires. But you can start small and step by step start to realize your longings.
If you embrace the angry, frightened or sad child inside of you with love and acceptance, it is touched by the angel inside of you and the result is that your soul speaks to you. Start with the emotions, find the true longing behind those emotions, and find a way to realize them step by step.
In the image I am drawing of the angel and the child within, there is no place for an authoritarian God figure. The “higher” and the “lower” complement each other in an open, dynamically evolving relationship. The angel does not dictate anything to the child, nor does the child have authority over the angel. It is in their interplay that you discover what is right for you in this moment.
You will find your life’s goals through this intimate connection between angel and child. In this connection, you discover what really moves you. No authority outside of you can replace this connection, or make the connection for you. A teacher can only point to that sacred area within, where you can allow the child inside to be cherished and inspired by the angel in you. In this area, you find out who you are and what your passion is. General guidelines about how to live a spiritual life are nearly always inadequate, or at least not universal in nature. Truth is formless. Every creature has its own form, its own way of living the Truth. That is the miracle of your unique soul essence. Real spiritual teachers do not teach specific do’s and don’ts, such as “do not eat meat” or “meditate two hours a day”. A real teacher knows that it is all about you finding your own truth, in deep communion with yourself. Teachers may indicate what has been helpful to them on their way, but they will not turn this into a rule or dogma.
If you take a look at the way God has been portrayed in most of your religious traditions, this is exactly what happened there. Most of them are traditions of fear and power abuse. The need for clear cut rules and dogma and the tendency toward hierarchic organisations always show that fear and power are at play. The same thing however also happens in new age spirituality. Take for instance the many predictions and speculative theories currently circulating. If you go along with this without consulting your own basic feelings about it, you may get insecure and start to wonder “am I doing things right?”, “what if I miss the boat (or spacecraft…) in 2012?” or “is the state of my chakras pure enough to enter 5th dimension?” This type of questions is certainly not helpful to your inner growth. I ask you: turn towards yourself. Do not focus on the movement of the planets and stars, the climate changes, or the judgement of an “ascended master” to determine your level of self realisation. You are the center of your universe, the standard and touch stone of your world. There is no God outside of you who knows better or who determines things for you. Not only does the God you formerly projected outside of you, reside in you, this God is not all-knowing either. The divine principle in you and all of creation is a playful force, growing and evolving in open and unpredictable ways.
In this image, the “lower” has an indubitable reason for existence: it is the fuel for growth and fulfilment. Light and dark have their own role to play and it is in the acceptance of both, that you get enlightened. Reaching out for the light in a one sided way, ignoring or fighting the dark, which some spiritual groups aspire, creates imbalance and a subtle resistance to (and contempt for) life on earth.
Doing things wrong, making mistakes, is all right and it may even bring you greater growth than trying to avoid mistakes. In the “bad things” the seed of light is dormant. Only by experiencing the bad from within, can you experience the good as beautiful, pure and true. You cannot learn “from without”. You, God inside of you, has plunged into the deep (into material reality) to become knowing through experience, not to apply knowledge to experience. In that sense, not many things are non-spiritual. All experience is sacred and meaningful. Do not let yourself be guided by outside rules, dictating what is healthy, right and spiritual for you to do. The touch stone is your own heart: if it feels right for you, then it is okay. Let go of anything else.

The second idol: the standards and ideals of society

Another false god which estranges you from your original soul energy is “society”: the standards and values which control your social world and are passed on to you through your upbringing, education and job environment. Many of society’s ideals are rooted in fear, in the need to control and structure life so that it becomes a neatly arranged playground. Many rules of behaviour are not so much inspired by what people truly feel and experience, but on what it looks like from the outside.
Trying to live up to such external standards of conduct can put a great pressure on you. Think of the fear of “not fitting in”, not having accomplished enough, not being beautiful enough, having no relationship, etcetera. By comparing yourself to unreal images of success and happiness, your creative energy gets stuck and you do not feel at home in this world anymore.
Because of all these do’s and don’ts, which have become like a second skin, you hardly dare to explore your original creativity. You are afraid to step outside the beaten track. But it is exactly this original soul energy, the energy which wants to flow uniquely from you, that is so welcome on earth! It is this part of you that is meant to bring about the transformation of consciousness on earth right now.
Connecting to your creative impulses and expressing them in your own unique way often demands that you deviate from society’s aims and ideals. It may be the case that your natural rhythm of exploring yourself and then expressing who you are on the material level, does not fit in with society’s schedule of how and when to achieve certain things in life. You may first go through a long process of getting to know yourself deeply, not achieving or producing anything on the outer level. While this may seem ineffective or unsuccessful to people, you may be working very hard on the inner level, discovering a lot of valuable things about yourself. Take your time to discover who you are, where your natural energy leads you, and to integrate it into your emotional and physical being. Do not pay attention to external success. Focus on what feels good and right to you, what makes you feel relaxed and inspired. If you find that way of living, and experience peace and quiet within, you will most easily get in touch with your original soul energy.
There is much fear in people about what society dictates and expects from them. The strange thing is that “society” as such does not even exist. What we have is a lot of people together, each with their own sincere longings and their deep-seated fears. Everyone longs to be free in the deepest sense of the word: to simply be who they are without fear of being judged by “the others”. Think again therefore, whenever you are paying a lot of attention to what others think of you. You are in fact becoming the others’ worst enemy too, since by abiding to their rules and fearing their judgment, you keep false ideals alive and suffocate the both of you even stronger. You become “society” to someone else.
Especially you, who are the pioneers of the New Era, can be an example to people who are caught in fear. You are that example when you truly stand by yourself, listen closely to your feelings, live accordingly and let go of outside judgments. These judgments are born from fear, not love, and they are often based on old rules and codes that no one remembers the true origin of. These old standards, which bear no connection to the human heart anymore, wait to be transformed from within, by people who dare to open up new vistas. Society waits for you; it waits for inspired ideals and standards that help people connect to their hearts and their true desires. You contribute to the collective transformation of consciousness by being an example of love instead of a follower of fear.
Dare to invite in the playful, childlike part of you. Get in touch with your inner child often: it knows very well what it wants. Often you can hardly sense what your heart truly longs for and you feel like you have lost your passion. This is because you do not let the inner child play, fantasize and dream anymore. When you measure yourself to external codes (what is appropriate for my age, gender, social background) you limit yourself and you do not allow the child, the dreamer and visionary, to take you outside of those limits and connect you to your “inner code”.
You were all born with an inspiration, a desire to manifest something on earth, both for yourself and for others (“society”). You have not come here to live in an ivory tower. You are part of collective consciousness on earth and you have come here to be a leader and inspirer of change. That will make you happy and fulfilled. By connecting to your inner child, and once again feel the magic of that original passion, illusory limits and boundaries will be lifted and you will find your way in life in a much easier and lighter way. The more you set yourself free from the false gods that keep you small and fearful, the more you live from a sense of freedom and surrender to the heart, and the more the universe will support you and provide you with the means necessary to bring your passion to fruition.

The third idol: pitying others and going along with their suffering

There is one other false god which I would like to mention and which perhaps preoccupies you the most in everyday life. It is pitying your fellows, sharing the burden with your dear ones by suffering along with them. Now, you may ask: how can that be an idol? Am I not supposed to connect with others, especially my loved ones, and help them if I can? What I am talking about is a tendency of yours to connect so deeply with people around you, that you are drawn into their pain, their problems and negative emotions and lose touch with your own core and inner peace. This kind of pity and co-suffering is not your duty, it is not helpful to the other person and it is not right from a spiritual standpoint.
Much of what you call “high sensitivity” is being so open to other people’s energy that it wipes away your own. Your empathy (i.e. the ability to feel other people’s moods and emotions) is in that case insufficiently balanced by the insight that the negative energies in that person belong to them and not to you. You are not realizing clearly enough that this negativity plays a viable role in the other person’s life and that you may enlighten them through your compassion and understanding, but that it does not serve anyone’s purpose if you suffer along with them.
Of course you would love to see your dear ones lead happy and fulfilling lives (whether it be spouse, child, parent or friend). You wish they would feel better and that their problems would be solved. Always remember though that the problems they have are their own creations. Relationship problems, money issues, health problems, psychological disorders….they all mirror deep-seated inner conflicts within the soul. Somewhere deep down people want to experience these problems, in order to get clear about something. It may seem that they are victims, especially when they are running around in circles over and over again. But often that means they still want to experience some aspect of that problem more thoroughly and that they are not open yet to your help. If you try to help them anyway, you will easily become pushy and controlling and you will exhaust your own energy sources. You then give up on surrender as a lifestyle.
By giving too much or inappropriately, you waste energy and you chain yourself emotionally to the one you are helping. This makes you dependent on the other person for your sense of well-being. Your emotional energies get mixed up and this is one of the major causes for loss of strength, vitality and self-awareness. Few things can break down your energy so easily as a persistent sense of duty, guilt and responsibility for someone else.
In such a “helping relationship” power issues often arise, even if no one intended this. By giving too much or inappropriately, the helper in fact tries to cover up an inner emptiness that goes unnoticed if one is preoccupied with someone else. Helping someone else may make you feel stronger and more self-assured. The one who gets all this attention from you, experiences this as nice and comfortable, and they soon notice they can influence you with their moods and emotions. They know that if things get worse for them, they get more attention from you (because you want them to get well so badly). The “sufferer” therefore senses that they have power over you and that it pays off to remain in the victim role. In such a relationship, a strong energy exchange is taking place, and it will drain the both of you, because it is not in alignment with what your souls really want. There is no spiritual truth in the way you are reducing each other to very limiting roles. The helper will eventually get frustrated because the sufferer will not progress enough: it is not in their interest to change, for they have invested in the victim role. And the sufferer gets even more stuck in their victim role; they dig themselves deeper into it, which may completely paralyse them. Both will get angry and blame one another.
You easily sympathize with and feel sorry for the people around you. Especially lightworker souls, who have a deep impulse to spread light and awareness on earth, are very sensitive to the suffering of others. It is hard for you to see suffering on a global scale, for instance in regions in the world devastated by poverty or war, or the destruction and pollution of the environment. But when it comes to suffering that is close to you, in your personal environment, you are affected most profoundly. And it is especially here that you are challenged to take back your power.
It is important to realize that you are not helping someone by making yourself smaller. You often think that if you absorb and swallow part of the other person’s emotions, you connect deeper to them and therefore help them. It is like you are sharing the burden. But by taking in the other one’s troubles, you only doublethe burden. The shadow deepens. By going along with the other person’s suffering, your power gets fragmentised and shattered by the negativity in them. You will think you are not entitled to be happy, peaceful and satisfied yourself, while they are suffering. This is a grave mistake. In actuality, the opposite is true.
To be truly helpful to someone means that you put your energy at the service of the solution of the problem, not of the problem itself. To do so you need to make yourself bigger rather than smaller. The more self-consciousness and independence you radiate, the more you represent the “energy of the solution” and the more you can mean for someone else without exhausting yourself. If you are going to suffer with them, you are really only affirming the problem. If you stay centered and calm, not resonating with the heavy emotions of the other, you open up another angle, another way of looking at the problem. Precisely by not resonating with the energy of the problem, you shed new light on it.
True spiritual guidance never involves solving someone else’s problem. Rather, it means to be a beacon of light and awareness to them, which mirrors their problems back to them in a way that enables them to take another look at it. It enables them to see meaning and value in the problem; it returns to them a sense of free will and responsibility. Something inside of you touches their heart and inspires them: it is the energy of love. It is the energy of acceptance. In this way, you offer the “energy of the solution” to them, not by doing anything for them, but by being it. That is lightwork: being your natural self, having peace with yourself and radiating that peace to others. It is not about carrying other people’s burdens or finding solutions to their problems. It is about carrying the energy of the solution in your own being and openly sharing it with others. That is the core of your mission on earth, the core of what it means to bring light.
Being true to yourself, taking good care of yourself and listening to what your intuition tells you is a prerequisite to anchor the frequency of love to earth. This is what your soul wants for you. Anytime you let others run away with your energy, or give too much of yourself out of fear or a need to control, a part of your light gets shattered and you will need to recuperate and emotionally heal yourself to regain your natural balance and vitality. Notice how this happens in your everyday life. If you are worrying about other people, about how they perceive you or how you should help them, and your thoughts are going in circles, and the same emotions repeat themselves, you are stuck in the rut of fear and control. Often, you tend to give away your energy because you think you are making things better, helping people out or solving a problem. But pay attention: does your contribution really serve the solution of the problem or does it affirm and thereby perpetuate the problem. Ask yourself whether you aren’t really serving an idol, instead of your own inner light.
Trying to control things often seems right and sensible, but often it is just fear that forces you to. You frequently feel tired and exhausted from all your exertions in different areas of your life, but often you stick to it and feel that you are obliged to put even more energy into it. You think you owe it to someone, to some organisation, to society or even to God. But anytime you feel emotionally exhausted, pushing it too far, it is really time to let go and find some quiet space for yourself. It is time to let go of the world and turn within. Cutting the cords for a while and reconnecting to your inner child is of great importance to remain centered and balanced. By connecting to the child, you also awaken the angelic you, the keeper of the child. You connect to your “lower self” and “higher self” and by feeling them inside, and listening to them carefully, you start to sense how they can play together joyfully in your present. It becomes clear what things you need to do or pursue to become centered and peaceful again.

Finding and following your passion

Everyone is born with a passion. Imagine that passion to be a beautiful red rose. Imagine that, just before you are born, you are standing at the edge of heaven, holding this exquisite red rose in your hand. Though you may hesitate to take the leap into the earth realm, even wondering gloomily whether you are really up to it, you sense a fire deep within, a passion, which presents itself to you as the red rose. Now imagine that you take the leap, you incarnate, and now you carry the rose within, in your belly and heart. Let the energy of the rose come to you now. Allow your original passion, your inspiration to present itself to you in this moment. Take a look at the rose, what does it look like now? Take the first image that springs to your mind. Does the rose look a bit sad and worn out, or does it radiate vibrantly? Do you see a rose bud or a blooming flower? Does it need anything from you in this moment? Perhaps more water or sunlight, or some more love and attention, or does it want to be removed to another spot, to more nurturing surroundings? Imagine that you give it exactly what it needs, and feel how this affects you on the inner level.
Red is the color of the earth and of the base or root chakra. Red is the color of passion. You are often afraid of your own passion. You are afraid to let this original flow express itself openly in your lives, because it goes against what society or tradition considers proper, right and sane. However, in each one of you there is an original passion and inspiration that is the very source of your existence here and now. You cannot really be fulfilled and inspired, until you allow that energy to run through your life and guide it. The essence of surrender as a lifestyle is that you surrender to yourself, to your soul’s passion, the inspiration that cradled your current lifetime.
There are a few ways in which you can recognize whether you are connected to your soul’s passion.
1. Feeling inspiration – wherever it flows, that’s where you need to be
Surrender as a lifestyle means that you let yourself be guided by what truly inspires you. Surrender is not a passive energy. By surrendering to what really motivates and inspires you, you open the gate to a lively and active flow of energy within. To discover that flow for yourself, you need to find out with what kind of activities your energy naturally flows. What things make you feel happy and peaceful? In what kind of occupation or pursuit do you feel that things move effortlessly and gracefully? What is the essence of these things or activities? Feel the essence of it – and know that there may be a variety of ways for this essence to take shape and form.
2. Being true to your own nature - what you do naturally, is what you are good at
To recognize your passion you need to realize that it is always something that is very natural to you. It is something, an activity or occupation or expression form, that you are drawn to, feel interested in and enjoy pursuing. It is something close and natural to you, almost self evident from your perspective. To bring your natural gift to fruition, you may have to learn some skills or pursue some formal education, but it will be relatively easy and joyful for you to do so. Your passion is something that your abilities and talents are attuned to; it involves activities that you are good at from the start.
3. Maintaining clear boundaries and daring to say “no” – take yourself seriously
You are in the flow of surrender to yourself if you take yourself seriously enough to say no to things or people that inhibit or cut off that flow. You can only follow your passion if you dare to say no to what does not fit or feel right to you. Surrendering to yourself, your unique inspiration, entails being precocious and stubborn sometimes, standing apart and trusting the messages of your heart even if people say you are silly and foolish. It is about loyalty to yourself. Dare to be grand, dare to make a difference! There is really no alternative, you know. The alternative is that your natural flow of inspiration gets stuck and dries up and you start to feel frustrated, empty, angry and unfulfilled. If you do not choose for yourself, you choose against yourself. The energy of the rose, your passion, withdraws and this creates psychological problems such as loneliness, estrangement and eventually depression. Therefore, dare to say no, dare to take up space with clear boundaries. Do not fear to be “egotistical” according to the standards of false gods.
4. Patience and rhythm – do it step by step
If you are connected to the energy of your soul, your inspiration, it will clear a path for you in your everyday life. Opportunities (in the form or people or situations you encounter) will come to you in a pace and rhythm that suits you. If you want to be attuned to that flow of manifestation, stay in the present and take it step by step. Try to not run ahead of all the things that need to happen to realise your dreams and passion. Life takes care of you, you need not take care of life. Simply feel your passion and entrust it to the hands of the God within you. Let the angel inside keep and watch over the dreams and longings of your inner child. Surrender and trust!
Thank you so much for being here today. It is a great pleasure to be with you and remember that the I who is saying this also very much represents your own energy. It is your own energy that beckons and invites you: dare to live, dare to be who you are!

You are society’s teacher

 

	Pamela channels Jeshua Audio Dear friends, I am here with such joy. Feel my joy. I love to see you all here united as brothers and sisters. This is what the New Earth is about. When people meet each other with an open heart, when they join together in a circle like this, something new arises, something much more than the sum total of the individuals. So feel the energy that you have created together in these past few days. It is your energy. Take pride in yourselves, you are the carriers of the Christ energy today, and I want to pass on the torch to you. Imagine that you are holding a torch in your right hand and hold it out in front of you, do not be intimidated. Now look around you, what is the first thing you see? Do you see other people around you? There are people around you who want to enjoy and receive your light, because your torch burns like no other, you are unique. Sometimes it makes me sad to see how you hide your own torch, your own light, which is so much needed now on Earth. I appeal to you today to stand up and show your light to the world. It will deeply fulfill you to do so, it is your mission, your true path. Now, when I say to put your light out into the world, I know it scares some of you, because your dealings with the world have not been smooth; they have been difficult and painful at times. Some of you would rather withdraw from the world. You feel you do not belong there; you do not feel at home there. You feel that you can be yourself only by leaving society behind, but society is waiting for you. You have to travel into the dark to change it from within, and you do this within yourself. I have asked you before to look behind negativity, behind destructive behavior and see the fearful child within yourself. I ask you to now do the same with society. Do not enter into a struggle with the energies there. Enter into it with a sense of peace. When you struggle with society, you are still in the realm of duality. You feel there are aggressive powers in society and that you are either its slave or its opponent, but both these roles are within duality. You do not want to be a slave of society and for some lifetimes you have become somewhat attached to the role of warrior, of the rebel fighting against the norms of society. But your true role today is neither of those roles. You are not society’s slave. You are not its enemy. You are society’s teacher, and you teach from the heart. This means that you look beyond outer appearances and go straight to the heart of things, of situations, of people. As a teacher, you know and understand that your energy will not always be received or appreciated, and you accept that, and so you do not feel rejected by society. You are very self-aware and act from love and compassion and, most importantly, you know when to act and when not to act. You do not have to change the world. The need to change things comes from a place of dissatisfaction or even judgement. You are truly here to be teachers of love. I am passing this torch on to you and ask you to be in the world and not of the world, to always find your truth within, but also to be available and ready to share it with others. I now ask you to see the energy of society as a child and to give it the face of a child. There is such a lot going on at the moment; the collective energy of humanity is in a state of confusion. Now give it the face of a child. Think of the old structure that is still active: the hierarchies, the misplaced authority. And even if you think it is all very ugly, see if you can find there the face of a child. If you look deeply, you can see a lost child imprisoned within the aggressive male structures of traditional society. It is, in fact, a male child who has become alienated and separated from its own heart. Feel the sadness of this child for a moment. He lost his way a long time ago. He longs for his mother, the mother energy, and at the same time he resists it. He wants to be in control, wants to rule the world with his mind, with his ego. But it is a terrible state to be in and he is not at all happy. So what would you do with this child? Right now, he is desperate and ready to change. Reach out to see what this child most needs, which is, in fact, you. The energy you carry within will heal him. So, talk to this child and connect with him. He is a part of you and a part of humanity, and you, too, are a part of humanity. You all have played different roles throughout your many lifetimes on Earth. You have had lifetimes in which you were a victim of aggressive male energy on Earth. But there have also been lifetimes in which you were on the other side, in which you yourself expressed this form of male energy. It is part of your journey on Earth, so you have been both victim and offender. And today you are a teacher and leave both these old roles behind. We are now here to redefine male energy. That is what is needed for humanity and for yourselves. You need your male energy to express yourself in the world, although both the men and women among you have reservations regarding male energy. The male energy has, because of the past, become associated with ego and aggression. But that is not its true nature and we need a new definition, a new feeling about male energy, because it is a necessary part of creation. Male and female are complementary energies. So I ask you to now look at the male energy within yourselves. See if you can observe the figure of a male inside you. Allow the male energy to express itself in your body, whether you are male or female. Feel the natural strength of the male energy, its clarity, its perseverance, its power to express and manifest. You need this energy to bring your light into the world. Make peace with it. I just told you that in the distant past you have had lifetimes in which you yourself misused the male energy, lifetimes in which you experimented with the energies of domination and power. On your journey as a soul, you came to deeply regret these lifetimes. You no longer wanted to have anything more to do with that energy, so you entered into a cycle of lifetimes being a victim of aggression and domination, because there was resistance within your heart against defending yourself. But you need both energies in order to have a full human life. So today, I am asking you to no longer be afraid to use your male energy. Be clear, be visible to others. Dare to speak up, dare to distinguish yourself from others. Your spiritual feminine energy is about connecting with others, and your male energy is there to protect you when needed and to disconnect when it is necessary. Use both! I would now like to end this talk by simply sharing our energies. Feel the gentleness in your heart and also your strength, your ability to be a teacher and to become the teacher you are. It is important to meet with others who are on the same path, like the people gathered here today. I want to encourage you to create circles of your own, to be together just enjoying each other’s company, sharing your gifts, and telling your stories. This truly helps you create new energy. It will support you. Thank you all very much. © Pamela Kribbe www.jeshua.net

Love Relationships

 

	Jeshua channeled by Pamela Kribbe Translation by Maria Baes and Frank Tehan Dear friends, I am Jeshua. I greet you all sincerely. I am here with a full heart. I want to share with you, for you are my brothers and sisters and I feel a deep kinship with you. I am neither more nor higher than you, we are one. We embarked together to plant the seed of the Christ energy on Earth, a seed that over time would slowly grow and blossom into a fully mature flower. This time on Earth is one of completion of that journey. It is a time in which many seedlings begin to develop, and in many ways you are the budding flowers. Together we form a unit, a collective of souls who dedicate themselves to the birth of a new awareness. So see me no longer as a master who stands above you, but as a friend who holds you by the hand and wants to share his love with you, because I do deeply love you all. You have an intense desire for love. You seek it in relationships with others, and also through a connection with the divine. But truly, what you are craving for lies within yourself; it is your own divine nature, the part of you that is one with unconditional love and joy. When you experience this part of you, it feels like coming home. Everything else in your life becomes easy, light, and joyful. You are at one within yourself and you do not need anything outside yourself to make you feel good. You are a unity unto yourself – and yet you feel connected with everything else in a deep and intimate way. What is paradoxical about relationships is that you can only be intimately connected with another person if you are able to embrace the oneness within yourself. If you are ready to accept yourself, with the burdens from the past, with your highs and lows – then there is space for another person with his or her unique individuality. Then you are no longer using another person in order to come Home. Instead, you share the Home you carry within your heart with that other person. This type of relationship becomes a celebrating together, a sharing, and that is a healing relationship, whether it be with a partner, a friend, or a child; it makes no essential difference. However, love relationships – partner relationships – are the relationships that call up the most in you. They touch you profoundly and stir up deep emotions, because they seem to hold the promise of coming Home like no other relationship does. Before I talk about love relationships, I would like to remind you that the Home you long for, that original unity from which you were born as a soul, is not far away. You can say that in the realm of time it was extremely long ago that you took your leave, symbolically speaking, ofParadise. That you went on your own path as a “soul in body” and chose a certain form in which to manifest yourself and undergo experiences and visit different places in the universe. When you were born as an individual soul and undertook your journey, you relinquished that primal unity, which you can imagine as a warm blanket of love and light that was so familiar to you. A unity where you always felt the secure presence of a Father-Mother-God, and so you were never afraid of being alone or rejected. These “negative” concepts were not even in your understanding, and yet an archetypal power was at work in God that birthed you out of the womb of this Father-Mother-God oneness. What was the purpose of that birthing? So you all could become independent gods! So you yourselves could become the starting point of a Father-Mother-God source of warmth and love from which an infinity of beings are created and emerge. But the farewell you bid in the beginning came to you as a shock. You realized that with this separation from oneness came the knowledge that in order to truly experience the process of evolvement, you could not know anything in advance. You realized you could only separate from that primal unity by going entirely your own way as an individual soul, who for the first time becomes acquainted with the fear and desolation and darkness of not-knowing and not-understanding. You still carry that original experience of desolation and solitude, which may arise very strongly in the arena of love relationships. But before I address those relationships, I would like to remind you that you have the possibility to experience that primal connection at any time. When you go into dreamless sleep, you leave your body and connect with the deepest source from which you came, with God, if you want to call it that, or with the deepest core in yourself: that part of you that never left Paradise and is still there. Although you left there billions of years ago, the oneness is still within you; it is an inalienable part of your consciousness. At night, if your mind is not too active and you surrender to sleep and to the non-physical realms that you enter, then, as you leave your body, you take in that Source and so refresh yourself. Also in your daily life, you can make the connection with this reality of the divine spirit, of which you are an intimate part. By becoming very still, you can feel that presence here and now. I invite you to feel how together, as one, we all constitute part of that original face of God. Imagine that in the middle of your chest, in your heart chakra, is a bright, beautiful crystal. Imagine it there and feel its power: a pure, clear crystal in which all facets simultaneously reflect your many experiences. This heart-crystal is also connected with everything around you. The feelings you receive from others can be reflected by this crystal, and so by receiving their moods and emotions through this crystal, you come to understand others. From this heart-crystal, you understand the experiences of others: their pain and disappointments are clear to you. This heart-crystal is connected to the hearts of all other living beings, because we all are one. And yet you can also feel that this heart, which you carry in your chest, belongs to you: it is your soul-heart. Feel how both aspects go together. You are connected on the level of the heart – a horizontal field that connects you with everything alive – so there is no separation as we all are one. Yet you are also “one”, meaning that you are you, and no one else is exactly like you. You are an individual being and there is a vertical line which connects you directly to your Source, to God. You are in this physical body, which is the bearer of your heart, your own piece of God consciousness. Feel the vastness of this crystal: the infinite consciousness that belongs to you and yet can go wherever it wants. It is not tied to this body, although it is in this body now, temporarily, but it is such a vast energy that ultimately it is not bound to any form. You are this consciousness; you have brought a piece of the divine fabric of the Father-Mother-God along with you here to Earth. You are whole and complete within yourself, and you are the guardian of this heart-crystal. Remember that, while we now look at the theme of love relationships. When you fall in love with another person, there is often an intense experience of delight at the beginning of the relationship. It seems as if something gets torn wide open within you, something that was long hidden and can be only unlocked by the look of that other. Other people do not seem to see that “something” within you, but your loved one awakens the naked beauty of who you are. Your passion and your enthusiasm for life return, you feel seen and loved, and you are going to experience your own depth – the wonder of you. That is what you experience in infatuation. And although it seems to be about the other, it is really about you, what the other evokes within you, which is delicious, a miracle! You seem to become awake only then and to feel how much you have to give and how much you can be loved. At that moment, people usually become intoxicated with the awe and wonder of this infatuation they experience, and they blindly attach themselves to the one who awakened this feeling within them. She or he has the “magic wand” in their hands, and what first led to a revelation, and a loving feeling toward yourself as well as the other, leads gradually to a flight from yourself, as you become totally focused on the other. Then begins a struggle with the other. You will want to possess the part of them that makes you feel so good. And the other often does the same with you, and you both become immensely confused by this tug-of-war. In this way, the highest that you can give each other eventually calls up the lowest, namely jealousy, dependency, and power struggles. This is an extremely painful fall that almost everyone has experienced in their life. How does this fall happen? There are two parts within you. From that heart-crystal I described, there is a love in you that can see the other exactly as he or she is, and can experience the beauty that is there. From this space in your heart, you can enter into an equal and balanced connection with each other, in which you acknowledge the divine in each other and in which you also do not lose sight of the human in each other. You grant the other their pain, mistrusts, disappointments, and resistance. But from your belly there is another energy at work, something that can be a very strong, disruptive force in infatuation. I call this energy the neglected inner child, who carries a very strong and deep pain within that goes back to that original cosmic birthing pain of leaving the Father-Mother-God oneness. This child also awakens as you fall in love, and this child has many emotions that can obscure your heart. These emotions can envelop the heart-crystal and cloud the fact that you are the source of the delight and bliss you experienced in the beginning stages of romantic love. Those feelings had to do with you and the space that you gave yourself, which was made possible by the other, but it still had to do with you. However, the child in you, who is in pain and crying out for the attention, love, and recognition it has missed for so long, may be tempted to take a kind of stranglehold on the partner; it wants to hold on at all costs in order to get for itself what it lacks. In this way, the child and the heart-crystal can end up on two opposing sides. What at first seemed to be very beautiful, turns into a destructive relationship where you are going to fight with each other and enter into a battle that nobody wants, but that happens anyway. At the time the magic threatens to disappear, you may become desperate. At all costs, you want to cling to your partner, because you once felt a sense of absolute love with that person. You are going to fight to hold on to them, and your oldest pains, your emotions of anger, fear of abandonment, hatred even, can come into play. It is very difficult to let go of the other person even then, because you will be driven by a reminder of how good it was when all was in harmony. It is very important that, at this stage, you know how to let go. The moment you feel your relationship going into a downward spiral, and you are going to accuse and blame each other, is the time to step back. You can injure each other so badly, precisely because you have touched each other so deeply, and that pain is hard to heal. So dare to take a step back when you feel that you are spinning out of control, that you are being swept away by emotions that prevent you from approaching your partner with an open heart. You may sense a deep fear of being abandoned, or just the opposite: a fear of connecting so deeply to someone that you lose yourself in it. There can be other emotions such as anger or jealousy, but what is important is that you notice how the most intense emotions are more about you than about the relationship. The relationship triggered the emotions, but they themselves stem from deeper causes. What matters now is that you turn toward the hurt and neglected child within, who is the real cause of your emotional imbalance. Doing that is not the responsibility of your partner. And you, too, are not responsible for the inner child of your partner. Making someone else responsible for your pain and expecting them to heal it leads to enormous confusion in relationships. So, how can you see when the relationship, which was initially a loving bond, is going wrong and is getting unbalanced? Actually, there are clear signs, and one of the ways you can find out is by symbolically doing an exercise with your inner child. Imagine you stand opposite your partner at this moment. Or take someone who is very important for you, if you currently have no partner, and allow your inner child to stand to your left. Simply imagine yourself as a child somewhere under the age of ten, and stand with that child to your left opposite your partner. Now see how the child responds to your beloved. Look at the first reaction of that child. Ask the child: “What attracted you to him or her? What did you find so irresistible? What touched your heart, what fascinated you?” And then you ask: “How do you feel now?” Did something happen to that original quality? Can the child still feel that love? In a healing relationship, that unique quality is still very much present. It feeds you still, warms you still, while at the same time your partner has gotten a more human form, with her or his own problems and ups and downs. However, something of that original magic is still there, and because of that magic, problems can be overcome. If you notice that the magic is absent, if your inner child actually feels unloved or treated unfairly, then there is something going on to which you need to pay attention. Take the time to discover this with your inner child. To clarify the situation, let go of the image of the inner child, and now imagine that you stand before the partner you have chosen and look how the energy of giving and receiving flows between you. First, see what you give the other and feel it, and it does not have to be expressed in words, as long as you sense it. Look at what flows from you toward the other, and sense how you feel in this moment. Do you become more energetic because of this giving, or do you feel empty and exhausted? Is giving inspiring, or do you become depleted by it? Hold on to that first feeling. After looking at what you give to the other, take a look at the reverse interaction. What do you receive from the other? Just rely on your first feeling as it comes to you. Does what you receive feel good? Does it make your heart more open? Do you feel happier about yourself as a result of what you receive? The essence of a healing relationship is that the other gives you something that creates joy in your heart. Finally, there is another sign of a destructive relationship. From your solar plexus – a spot close to your stomach – sense a “cord” of energy that connects you with the other. If you are sensitive, maybe you can experience that cord. What you are looking for is the feeling that you need to possess the other; that you panic at the thought that the other will no longer be here; that something pulls on that cord. If you sense that, then that is essentially an energetic umbilical cord that connects you with the other, and gives you the feeling: “I need them, I cannot do without them!” That panicky feeling shows you do not operate independently, or at least you think you are not able to do without the other, and such a dependency can lead to a destructive relationship. In a healing relationship, it is natural to miss each other if in one way or another you would be separated. It is natural to enjoy and therefore long for each other’s company. You may want the other, but you do not need the other. But in a destructive relationship, there is something malignant at work. There is a feeling that you cannot do or be without the other, that you are dependent upon them for your well-being – maybe your very life! – and this substantially weakens you. There is a deep fear of possible rejection by the other, and that makes you feel small and constricted, and the whole relationship no longer has that joyful spaciousness and freedom it had in the beginning. Try to feel these things for yourself, calmly, in your own way. And do not be afraid to make room in the relationship to allow yourself to feel this kind of thing. Because once you find yourself in a negative spiral in a relationship, it is often necessary that the partners distance themselves from each other, physically and emotionally, in order to realize where they each stand. At such a time, it is often not useful to try to talk things out. It is necessary that your energy fields first become free from each other in order to gain sufficient space to come back to the center of your heart-crystal. Descend with your awareness inside that beautiful clear crystal that is your essence. Do not depend on others to experience that in you; it is there for you – always. It is the whisper of God you can hear in the silence. Feel then how, from this crystal, light rays shine onto the child in you that still suffers pain and who is still seeking outside itself for acceptance and love and security. Let your light rays fall on that child, and you can literally see that the crystal light seems to anchor itself by flowing deeper and deeper down through your belly and all the way down through your legs into the Earth. This is your light, your unique Soul Light! You are here to experience this light in a body on Earth. Your particular light is unique, it is your Angel Light, and if you remain connected with it, then you attract healing relationships in your life. You have no “need” for another. And you also have no need to make another into something “perfect”: someone who finally sees you in the perspective you desire, and who unconditionally understands and embraces you in the way you want them to. Unconditional acceptance and love is to be found only in your own heart – by and for yourself. Do not burden another with that duty. That absolute love is something between you and your Self. This you can only give to yourself, and when you do, you will become a fountain of love for others, because you then have become completely honest and true with yourself. You love yourself, including the dark part: that child in you who struggles sometimes and is tormented. When you love yourself, it is easier for you to see the other person in a true perspective. You no longer have to take so personally the sometimes offensive or hurtful things that she or he says or does. Their actions and reactions belong to them, and it becomes easier to not respond too emotionally to it. The other person is no longer responsible for your soul’s salvation – you are. You are the master of your world, your reality. You all are on this path to self-realization, and already you are touching other people with your heart-crystal: you are giving sparks of love and hope to them. I thank you for coming to Earth at this time, in this period of change and transition. I am with you and I care for you deeply. You are my brothers and sisters, and I love you. © Pamela Kribbe www.jeshua.net

Relationships in the New Era

http://www.jeshua.net/newage/newage2.htm

Jeshua channeled by Pamela Kribbe

Dear friends, with much joy and happiness I am with you today. My energy flows among you and as you can feel, this is not a lecture in the traditional sense. I am passing on a certain energy (in addition to information) and you are as much a part of this as I and Pamela and Gerrit. In our being together here, we create a field or vortex of energy in this room, in this opening to the earth. Therefore this place is sacred. At any place where people – angels in human bodies – come together and join with the intention of seeding their light into the earth, the ground becomes sacred.

I would like to briefly say something about the phenomenon of channeling which has become so popular recently. You all know the concept of prana, which is employed in yoga and eastern philosophy. Prana is a spiritual energy that you take in with every breath. The idea is that you do not merely inhale oxygen when breathing in but also a life force energy, a cosmic energy which exceeds the physical and enables you to live. Now what I’d like to point out is this: just as everyone inhales prana along with oxygen in breathing, everyone channels continuously in his or her own way. Channeling is not reserved to a few people with a special gift. Channeling is the most natural thing in the world. You see, you cannot live without cosmic energy. You cannot exist, live and thrive without taking in cosmic energy. Just as you cannot live from oxygen alone, you cannot function even in a basic manner without some connection to the cosmic energy that is your home. Earth and cosmos, oxygen and prana, both are necessary to manifest yourself completely as a human being in earth reality.

In the previous channeling I have called you the gatekeepers, the ones who open the gate to more light on earth. But you are also the bridge builders, the ones who mediate between the cosmic and the earth realm, the ones who channel cosmic energy to the earth. This is something you actually do and it is something you need to do in order to feel joyful, purposeful and healthy. You are channeling whenever you use your intuition, whenever you go deep within and sense how things are for you and how you would like to change them. At these moments you form a channel with your higher self and you connect to the wisdom of non-earthly, cosmic realms which can support you in reaching your goals here on earth. Every one of you channels in some way to realign yourself with your greater being that is outside of space and time.

Today we share our energies and join to channel a cosmic energy which is trying to find its way to earth in this New Era. The New Era is no longer a vision of the future. It is already manifesting itself in the daily life of innumerable individuals. If you read the paper or watch the news it may seem that the time is not ripe yet. But the awakening brought forward by the New Era starts at the level of the individual, not at the level of governments, institutions and organizations. It is in your own everyday existence that a new flow of energy presents itself. It is the flow of your heart that invites you and beckons you to live and to act according to its lightness and wisdom. This is how the birthing of the New Era takes place, by ordinary individuals being attentive to the whispers of their heart. Spiritually the foundation of any real change or transformation is always laid on the individual level. The energy which is awakened in your hearts will gradually find its way through institutions and organizations which still hold on to the old paradigm of ego based consciousness. Old bulwarks of power will break down, not by violence but by the tender energy of the heart. If the heart takes over the lead the old will collapse, not under the pressure of power and violence but under the pressure of love.

In this New Era relationships undergo a major transformation. Relationships are the source of the deepest emotions within you, reaching from great joy to deep agony. In relationships you may become aware of an inner pain that is essentially much older than the relationship itself, even older than your human existence.

In this age you are invited and often challenged to achieve a deep self-healing in the field of relationships. Because of the new energy now presenting itself it is possible to transform the destructive elements of a relationship into a positive, equal flow of energy between you and the other person. However healing and personal transformation may also mean that you let go of relationships in which you cannot properly express yourself. It frequently means that even if you love someone dearly, you may have to say goodbye, because your own inner path takes you to a different place. Whether it leads to renewal or to parting in a relationship, you are all challenged to face the deepest issues in this area of personal bonding. The call of the heart, the heart based energy which marks the New Era, has entered your daily lives and you cannot ignore it anymore.

To explain why relationships can hurt you so much and turn your life completely upside down, I would like to say something about an ancient pain you carry within your soul. It is a pain which is very old, much older than this lifetime, older even than all your former lives on earth. I want to take you back to your original birthing pain as a soul.

“Once upon a time” all was whole and undivided. Can you imagine this? Allow your imagination to travel freely for a moment. Just imagine: you are not in a body, you are pure consciousness and you are part of a huge energy field that surrounds you in a comfortable way. You feel that you are part of this unity and are being cherished without conditions. Feel how this energy field encloses you as an immensely comfortable blanket, as an abundantly loving energy which allows you to explore and develop freely, without ever doubting yourself or your intrinsic right to be who you are. No anxiety, no fear. This sense of comfort and security constituted the pre-birthing conditions from which you emerged as an individual soul. It was a cosmic womb. Even if it is far removed from your present state, your heart still aches for this sense of completeness and wholeness, the feeling of absolute safety you experienced in that blanket of love and benevolence. The sense of oneness you remember was God. Together in this blanket of love you constituted God.

Within this divine consciousness or blanket of love, it was decided at some point to create a new situation. It is very difficult to put into human words but perhaps you can imagine that in God, this unity awareness, there was a longing for something different, something other than unity. There was, so to speak, a longing for experience. When you are completely assimilated into a wholeness of pure being, you do not experience things – you simply are. In spite of the ecstasy and the total safety in this state of being, there was a part of God, a part of this cosmic awareness, that wanted to explore and to evolve. This part “departed from itself.”

You are this part of God. At a certain point your consciousness agreed to this experiment of departing from unity and becoming an “I,” an entity in itself, a defined individual awareness. This was a huge step. From the bottom of your being you felt that this was a good thing. You felt that the longing for creativity and renewal was a positive and valuable aspiration. However the moment that you actually departed from the field of oneness, there was pain. For the first time in your recollection, for the first time in your life there was deep pain. You were torn loose from a realm of love and safety which had been completely self-evident to you. This is the birthing pain I referred to. Even during this first intense experience of desolation, something in your innermost being told you that it was all right, that this was your own choice. But the pain was so deep that at the outer layers of your being you got confused and disoriented. It became quite difficult to keep in touch with the deeper knowledge inside, the inner level at which you are God and where you know that all is well.

The tormented part that arose at that time I call the inner child. Your soul, your unique individuality, carries within itself the extremes of a pure divine knowledge on the one hand and a traumatized cosmic child on the other hand. This unity of God and Child, of knowledge and experience started off on a long journey. You started off as an individual soul. You started to investigate and experience what it is like to be an I, a defined individual.

God had transformed a part of Godself into Soul. The soul needs experience to find again its divine origins. The soul needs to be alive, to experience, to discover, to self-destruct and to recreate in order to feel who the soul truly is, namely God. The self evidence of being one and whole had been shattered and had to be regained by experience. This in itself was a great feat of creativity. The birthing of I-consciousness was a miracle! It had never existed before.

Often you try to transcend the boundaries of your I-ness in order to experience oneness and deep unity again. You might say that is the very aim of your spiritual quest. But consider for a moment: from God’s point of view it is the I-ness, the separateness, that constitutes the miracle! The state of being ONE was the normal situation, “how it had always been.” Within the miracle of being an individual soul lies an immense beauty, joy and creative power. The reason that you do not experience it like that is that you are still struggling with your birthing pain as a soul. Somewhere deep inside you the primal scream of anguish and betrayal still resounds: it is the recollection of being torn apart from your Mother/Father, from the omnipresent blanket of love and safety.

On your journey through time and experience you have gone through so many things. You have tried all different kinds of forms. There were quite a lot of incarnations in which you did not have the form of the human body, but that is not so relevant now. What matters to me in this context is that throughout this very long history, you were guided by two different motives. On the one hand there was the zest for exploration, creation and renewal and on the other hand there was the homesickness, the sense of being cast out of paradise and an overpowering loneliness.

By the adventurous, progressive part in yourself, the energy which pushed you out of the cosmic womb, you have experienced and created a lot. But due to the birthing pain and homesickness you carried within, you also had to deal with a lot of trauma and disillusion. Your creations were therefore not always benevolent. During your journeys through time and space you have done things you have regretted later on – things you might call “bad” (in quotation marks). These actions were, from our perspective, merely the result of the determination to plunge into experience and venture into the unknown. You see, as soon as you decide to become an individual, to break away from the self evident oneness, you cannot experience light only. You have to find out everything anew. So you will also experience the dark. You will experience all there is, up to all the extremes.

At your present point of evolution, you come to realize that everything stands or falls with the power to truly embrace your “I-ness.” It is about truly embracing your own divinity and from that self-awareness, experiencing joy and abundance. In the moment of your cosmic birth, the moment that desolation and pain enveloped you, you started to feel tiny and insignificant. From that moment on, you started to look for something that could save you – a power or force outside of you, a god, a leader, a partner, a child, etc. In the awakening process that you are now experiencing, you realize that the essential safety you are longing for is not to be found in anything outside of you, whether it is a parent, a lover or a god. However strongly this longing or homesickness may be triggered in a particular relationship, you will not find this essential safety there, not even in a relationship with God.

For the God you believe in, the God who has been handed down to you by tradition and who still heavily influences your perception, is a God outside of you. It is a God who outlines things for you, who lays out the way for you. But that God does not exist. You are God, you are that creative part of God who decided to go its own way and to experience things in a wholly different way. You had the confidence that you would be able to heal yourself from the primal wound of birth. You could say that the expansive energy of exploration and renewal is a male energy, whereas the energy of unification, joining together, the energy of Home, is a female energy. Both these energies belong to the essence of who you are. As a soul you are neither male nor female. Essentially you are both male and female. You started your journey with both these ingredients. And now the time has come to let them work together in harmony which means to truly experience wholeness in yourself. After having denied your own greatness for such a long time, you will start to realize finally that there is no alternative but to be the God you are longing for.

This is the ultimate breakthrough to enlightenment: to realize that you yourself are the God you are craving. There is nothing outside you that can bring you into the heart of your own power, your own wholeness. You are it, you are the one and you have always been the one! You have always been waiting for you.

To light this flame of self awareness within brings such joy, such a deep sense of homecoming that it puts all of your relationships into a new perspective. For example you feel less concerned about the things that other people tell you. If someone criticises or distrusts you, you do not automatically take it personally. You feel less affected or eager to react. You let it go more easily and the need to defend yourself, both to yourself and to the other person, drops away. When you are easily affected emotionally by what another person thinks of you, this indicates that inwardly there is a self contempt that makes you give credit to the negative opinions of others. You do not solve this self contempt by seeking out a conflict with the other but only by going inward and getting in touch with the emotional wounds within yourself. These are much older than this specific moment of rejection.

In fact all pain of rejection, all relationship pain, goes back to the original, unhealed birthing pain. It may seem as if I’m taking a huge step here for there are all kinds of complex situations in relationships which seem to indicate that the cause lies closer. It may seem as if your pain is caused by something your partner has done or not done. It may seem as if something outside of you causes the pain. And therefore you think that the solution to your problem lies in the behavior of the other. But let me tell you: fundamentally you are working on healing an ancient pain within yourself. If you are not aware of this, you may easily get entangled in relationship issues that can be extremely painful.

Especially in male/female relationships (love relationships), you frequently try to forge a kind of unity and safety between you that resembles the primeval state of oneness that you vaguely remember. Subconsciously you are trying to recreate the feeling of being comfortably wrapped in a blanket of unconditional love and acceptance. There is a child within you who is crying out for that unconditional acceptance. However if this child in you puts his or her arms around the child part in your partner, too often it results in a suffocating grasp that blocks both partners from genuine self expression.

What happens is that you become emotionally dependent, and then you are going to need the love or approval of the other person for your well-being. Dependence always calls into being power and control issues, for to need someone is equal to wanting to control his or her behavior. This is the beginning of a destructive relationship. To give up your individuality in a relationship, guided by a subconscious longing for absolute unity, is destructive towards yourself as well as towards the other person.

True love between two people shows two energy fields that can function in complete independence from each other. Each energy field is a unity unto itself and connects to the other on the basis of that unity. In relationships in which partners are dependent upon each other, you will find an uncoordinated striving for “organic wholeness,” not wanting or being able to function without the other. This leads to an entanglement of energies which can be observed in the auric fields as energy cords by which the partners feed each other. They feed themselves with the addictive energies of dependence and control. This kind of energy entanglement indicates that you do not take responsibility for yourself, that you do not face up to the old soul wound that only you can heal. If only you would address this deepest pain and take responsibility, you would see that you do not ever need someone else to be whole and you will liberate yourself from the destructive aspect of the relationship.

Karmic relations

In this context I would like to say something about karmic relationships. By this I mean relationships between people who have known each other in other lifetimes and who have experienced intense emotions with regard to each other. The hallmark of a karmic relationship is that the partners carry unresolved emotions within such as guilt, fear, dependence, jealousy, anger or something of the kind. Because of this unresolved emotional charge, they feel drawn to each other in another incarnation. The aim of the renewed encounter is to provide an opportunity to resolve the issue at hand. This happens by recreating the same issue in a short period of time. When they first meet, the karmic “players” feel a compelling urge to get nearer to each other and after some time they start to repeat their old emotional role patterns. The stage has now been set to face the old issue anew and perhaps handle it in a more enlightened way. The spiritual purpose of the renewed encounter is for both partners to make other choices than they made during that former lifetime.

I am going to give an example here. Imagine a woman who, in a previous lifetime, had a husband who was quite possessive and bossy. For a while she accepted this but at a certain point she decided it was enough and she broke off the relationship. Afterwards the husband committed suicide. The woman felt remorse. She believed that she was guilty. Shouldn’t she have given him another chance? She carried this sense of guilt with her for the rest of her life.

In another lifetime they meet again. There is an odd attraction between them. At first, the man is exceptionally charming and she is the center of his attention. He adores her. They enter into a relationship. But from now on he becomes increasingly jealous and possessive. He suspects her of adultery. She finds herself in an inner struggle. She is angry and upset that he wrongly accuses her but she also feels a strange obligation to be forgiving and to give him another chance. He is a wounded man, she thinks; he cannot help it that he has this fear of being abandoned. Maybe I can help him get over this. She justifies her behavior in this way but in fact she allows her personal boundaries to be violated. The relationship negatively affects her self esteem.

The most liberating choice for the woman would now be to break off the relationship and go her own way without feelings of guilt. The pain and fear of the husband are not her responsibility. His pain and her sense of guilt have led to a destructive relationship. Their relationship was already emotionally charged because of another lifetime. The meaning of the renewed encounter is that the woman must learn to let things go without feelings of guilt and that the man must learn to stand on his own feet emotionally. So the only real solution is to break off the relationship. The solution for the woman’s karma is to let go of her sense of guilt once and for all. The mistake she made in her former lifetime was not that she abandoned her husband but that she felt responsible for his suicide. The departure of his wife in this lifetime would confront the husband again with his own pain and fear and it would offer him a new opportunity to face these emotions instead of escaping them.

You may recognize a karmic encounter by the fact that the other person immediately feels strangely familiar to you. Quite often there also is a mutual attraction, something compelling in the air which urges you to be together and to discover each other. If the opportunity is available, this strong attraction may grow into a love relationship or a heavy infatuation. The emotions you experience may be so overwhelming that you think you have met your twin soul. However things are not as they seem. In such a relationship there will always be problems which sooner or later will surface. Often the partners become involved in a psychological conflict that has power, control and dependence as the main ingredients. By this they repeat a tragedy which they subconsciously recognize from a former lifetime. In a past life they could have been lovers, parent and child, boss and subordinate, or some another type of relationship. But always they touched a deep inner pain in each other by acts of unfaithfulness, abuse of power or, by contrast, too strong an affection. There was a profound encounter between them which caused deep scars and emotional trauma. That is why the forces of attraction as well as repulsion can be so violent when they meet again in a new incarnation.

The spiritual invitation to all souls who are energetically entangled in such a way is let each other go and become “entities-unto-themselves,” free and independent. Karmic relationships as mentioned here are almost never long-term, stable, loving relationships. They are destructive rather than healing relationships. Quite often the basic purpose of the encounter is to succeed in letting each other go. This is something that could not be done in one or more past lifetimes but now there is another opportunity to release each other in love.

If you find yourself in a relationship that is characterized by intense emotions, that evokes a lot of pain and grief but from which you cannot break free, please realize that nothing obligates you to stay with the other person. Also do realize that intense emotions more often refer to deep pain rather than to mutual love. The energy of love is essentially calm and peaceful, light-hearted and inspiring. It is not heavy, exhausting and tragic. If a relationship gets these traits, it is time to let it go rather than “work on it” once again.

Sometimes you convince yourselves that you have to stay together because you “share karma” and you have “to work things out together.” You call upon the nature of karma as an argument for prolonging the relationship, while you are both suffering immensely. In fact you are distorting the concept of karma here. You do not work out karma together; karma is an individual thing. The karma at stake in such relationships as mentioned before often requires that you let go completely, that you withdraw from such a relationship in order to experience that you are whole unto yourself. Again, resolving karma is something you do on your own. Another person may touch or trigger something inside you that creates a lot of drama between you. But it remains your sole task and challenge to deal with your own inner hurt, not with the other person’s issues. You only have responsibility for yourself.

This is important to realize because it is one of the main pitfalls in relationships. You are not responsible for your mate and your mate is not responsible for you. The solution to your problems does not lie in the behavior of the other person. Sometimes you are so connected to the inner child of your partner, the emotionally hurt part inside, that you feel you are the one to “rescue” it. Or your partner may be trying the same with you. But this is not going to work. You will be reinforcing emotions of powerlessness and victimhood in the other person, whereas it would be more helpful ultimately if you drew the line and stood up for yourself. It is your destination to be able to feel whole and complete, entirely on your own. That is the most important condition for a truly fulfilling relationship.


Healing relationships

There are healing and there are destructive relationships. A characteristic of healing relationships is that the partners respect each other as they are, without trying to change each other. They take much pleasure in each other’s company but they do not feel uneasy, desperate or lonely if the other person is not around. In this kind of relationship you offer understanding, support and encouragement to your loved one without trying to solve their problems. There is freedom and peace in the relationship. Of course there may be misunderstandings now and then, but the emotions they bring up are short-lived. Both partners are prepared to forgive. There is a heart connection between them as a result of which they will not take the other person’s emotions or mistakes personally. Because it does not trigger a deeper layer of pain, they do not attach so much importance to it. Emotionally both partners are independent. They draw their strength and well-being not from the approval or the presence of their mate. He or she does not fill a gap in their lives but adds something new and vital.

In a healing relationship partners may also know each other from one or more past lifetimes. But in these cases there is hardly ever an emotional karmic burden as described above. The two souls may have known each other in a past life in a way that was essentially encouraging and supporting. As friends, partners or as parent and child, they have recognized each other as soul mates. This creates an indissoluble bond throughout several lives.

I will give another example. A young man grows up in a poor family somewhere in the Middle Ages. He is gentle and sensitive by nature and he does not fit in very well with his surroundings. His family consists of hard working, rather rough people who think little of his dreamy, unpractical nature. When he is grown up, he enters a monastery. He is not really happy here either, for life is tightly regulated and there is little human warmth or companionship among the people living there. There is however one man who is a bit different. It is a priest who has a higher rank but who has no air of authority and who is truly interested in him. Now and then he inquires how things are going and he allots him a few pleasant jobs like gardening. Each time they look at each other there is a sense of recognition, something like-minded between them. There is a silent connection from the heart. Although they do not meet very often or speak much, the priest is a source of hope and encouragement for the young man.

In a following lifetime this man is a woman. Once again she has a gentle and dreamy nature. She has difficulties standing up for herself. When she is an adult she gets bogged down in a marriage with a man who is authoritarian and bossy. At first she fell for his distinct, powerful charisma but later on she realizes how his dominance restricts and oppresses her. Nevertheless she finds it very difficult to set herself free from him. At her work she sometimes mentions the subject to a colleague, a somewhat older man. He encourages her to stand up for herself and to stay true to her own needs. Each time she speaks with him she intuitively knows that he is right. Then after a great deal of inner conflict she divorces her husband. The contact with her colleague changes now. She feels affection for him. He turns out to be single. She feels so much at ease with him that it seems as if they have known each other for ages. They start a relationship which is affectionate, relaxed and encouraging for both of them. The sympathy which was flowing between them in a former lifetime now takes shape as a fulfilling relationship as husband and wife.

This is a healing relationship. The woman has taken an essential decision in leaving her husband and choosing for herself. With this she has affirmed her emotional independence. This has created the basis for a loving, well-balanced relationship with a congenial soul.

Twin souls

At this point I would like to say something about the concept of twin souls, probably familiar to all of you. The idea of twin souls exerts a deep attraction for you. However it is potentially quite dangerous, because it can be interpreted in such a way that it reinforces the birthing pain and emotional dependence in each of you, rather than resolving it. This happens when you conceive of the concept of twin souls in such a way that there is another person who perfectly suits you and makes you whole. This is the concept of the twin soul as your other half. You then assume that the oneness and safety you are missing so deeply will be found in someone else who is the perfect match for you.

According to this immature notion of twin souls, the souls are considered to be two halves who together make up a unity. Usually the two halves are respectively male and female. So this notion not only suggests that you are incomplete unto yourself but also that you are essentially male or female. You can probably see that this notion of twin souls is not healthy or healing from a spiritual point of view. It makes you dependent on something outside of you. It denies the divine origin which implies that you are everything, male and female, and that you are whole and complete unto yourself. It creates all kinds of illusions which bring you far away from home. And by “home” I mean your own self, the divinity of your “I-ness.” No soul is meant to be someone else’s other half.

Twin souls do exist and they literally are what the word implies: they are twins. They are souls with the same “feeling tone” or vibration, or you could say with the same birthing time, as is the case with biological twins. The particular time of birth, this unique moment in time and place, makes for a uniquely charged feeling tone inside the souls that come to life. They are not dependent upon each other in any way. They are neither male nor female. But they are certainly tuned into each other as kindred spirits.

What is the reason for the creation of twin souls? Why do they exist? You often think that the raison d’être for something is the learning process it effects. But this is not the case with twin souls. The reason for the existence of twin souls is not to learn something. The aim is simply joy and creativity. Twin souls have no function within duality. You will meet your twin soul when you are transcending duality, when you identify yourself again with the God inside yourself who is whole and undivided and who is able to take any form or appearance. Twin souls meet again on their journey back home.

Let us go back for a moment to the beginning of the journey. The moment you leave the state of oneness and become an individual, you enter duality. Suddenly there is dark and light, great and small, sick and healthy, etc. Reality is split. You have no frame of reference anymore for who you really are. At first you took your identity from “being-part-of-a-whole.” Now you are a single part torn loose from the whole. But without your conscious knowing, someone accompanies you who is equal to you, who resembles you as closely as anything could. You took up “the same space” in the blanket of oneness, so near to each other that you didn’t know you were two until you were born. What connects the two of you is something beyond duality, something that antedates the history of duality. This is hard to put into words properly, because it defies your usual definitions of identity in which you are either one or two and cannot be both at the same time.

Now you were both setting out on a journey, a long journey throughout many experiences. Both of you have experienced the extremes of duality, to discover gradually that your essence does not lie in duality but outside of it, in something which underlies it. As soon as you become deeply aware of this underlying oneness, your journey back begins. Little by little you feel less attached to external things such as power, fame, money or prestige. You understand more and more that the key is not what you experience but how you experience it. You create your own happiness or misery by your state of awareness. You are discovering the power of your own consciousness.

Once you have gone through all the highs and lows of duality there will be a moment when you meet your twin soul. In the energy and appearance of your twin soul, you will recognize a very deep part of yourself, your essence beyond duality, and by this very recognition you will start to understand yourself better and become aware of who you really are. Your twin is a frame of reference for you that carries you outside of the limited beliefs about yourself that you took in during your life and lifetimes before. You liberate yourself by seeing this reflection of you in your twin; it is like a reminder and it has nothing to do with emotional dependence. Meeting each other helps each of you to be stronger and more self-aware individuals, expressing your creativity and love on earth. It accelerates your return journey as it helps you step up to a higher level of oneness while fully retaining and expressing your I-ness, your unique individuality.

Ultimately we are all one. We are supported by an energy which is universal in all of us. But at the same time there is individuality in all of us. The twin soul is to some extent the link between individuality and oneness. It is like a stepping stone to oneness. If you connect with your twin soul consciously and materially, you will bring about the creation of something new: a third energy that is born out of their combined action. That energy always helps to enhance unity awareness on a larger scale than just the two of them. Because they are on their way Home, twin souls feel inspired to anchor the energies of love and oneness on earth and they do so in a way that accords with their own unique talents and skills. In this manner the twin soul love builds a stepping stone between “being one” and “being One.”

There is a deep inner bond between twin souls but that does not alter the fact that they are complete unities unto themselves. Their joining together brings about love and joy and their meeting enhances creativity and self-realization. They support each other without falling into the pitfalls of emotional dependence or addiction. The love between twin souls is not meant to make each other whole, but to create something new: instead of the two becoming one, the two shall become three.

Healing the cosmic birthing pain

You will meet your twin soul at some point. Please let this knowledge be enough to you. Try not to dwell upon hopes and expectations that take you out of the here-and-now. What matters in this very moment is that you fully realize that the love and safety you deeply desire are present within yourself. The key is to realize that this absolute self-acceptance can never be given to you by anyone else, not even by your twin soul.

Not only in love relationships but also in parent-child relationships, there is the temptation to find absolute oneness or safety in the other. Think of a parent who secretly wants his child to realize all the dreams he did not fulfill, or a child who as a grown up still clings to her parents and considers them to be her absolute safe haven.

It is important to become aware of the underlying dynamics and motives in your relationships and to heal them in the light of your consciousness. Your cosmic homesickness is not going to be healed by or in a relationship. This will be done by you alone, by the full realization of who you are, by realizing your light, beauty and divinity. This is the destination of your journey.

Also you will not return to the state of oneness from whence you came. The “blanket of love” from which you were born constituted your embryo stage. Now you are becoming mature gods. You will create a field of absolute safety and love from your own heart and allow others to share in this without any conditions. That is the essence of God: unconditional love that radiates, creates and cherishes without any agenda, without any calculation.

I would like to ask you now to be silent for a few moments and to truly feel your I-ness, your unique being unto yourself. If you are surrounded by people, then for a moment feel your “I” very strongly. Unconditionally, you are this part of God. It is not something that can be taken from you, it is an undeniable presence that IS.

And now feel how this undeniable fact of your I-presence can be a source of joy and strength to you. Say yes to the miracle of your own being and embrace it. Yes, I am I. I am separate and unique, my own being. I may connect deeply with others but also ever remain an “I.” You may think that behind this fact lies solitude and desolation but please go beyond these thoughts and feel the power and vitality within you. If you really say yes to your individuality, you experience self-confidence and trust. On that basis you will create loving relationships and the solitude and desolation will dissolve.

When feelings of loneliness and desolation overwhelm you, take the child within you on your lap. Notice the hurt in this child. It is longing for the total safety it once knew as an embryo. It wants to see that safety reflected in the face of your partner, in the face of your child, in the face of your mother or father, in the face of a therapist. Then show the child your face. You have the face of an angel for this child. You are meant to heal this child in the most absolute way you can dream of. Neither I nor any “master” is able to do it for you. We can only show the direction. You yourselves are the saviors of yourself.

Finally I would like to invite you to feel our joining together for a moment. Even if you are not present and you are reading this material, feel our connectedness. Do not focus on the I-ness now but on our togetherness in a very free and easy way. Feel the energy, feel what brings us together. It is a longing for a state of wholeness. Now imagine that we are surrounded by the most powerful energy there is, the energy of your awakened selves, the energy of the angel within you. Let us breathe in this energy and take a minute to deeply feel its power.

Thank you for your presence.

© Pamela Kribbe 2006
www.jeshua.net

- The Jeshua channelings are available in book form. -

- "The Lightworker Series" is also available as audio book. -




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