Food Addiction: Typical Cluster of Parts by Bonnie Weiss

Food Addiction: Typical Cluster of Parts 

Bonnie Weiss, LCSW

We have studied the issue of food addiction and found that there are a number of regularly identifiable parts that make up the Eating Cluster. These parts also apply to other addictive issues such as substance abuse, gamboling sex or shopping addiction. An important dynamic in any addiction is the relationship between the part that engages in the addiction and the Inner Critic part that tries to control the addiction. We call the addictive part the Indulger and the Inner Critic part the Inner Controller. These two parts are polarized, which means they are in constant conflict with each other. In this case the conflict is about how much to indulge in the addiction.

It is important to remember that in the Internal Family Systems  model (IFS) that protector parts are working to in the service of the system. They have a strategy for trying to help, and a positive intention for you. They work to protect the more vulnerable exiled parts, and try to keep their pain from surfacing.  

The Inner Controller is a protector part that is concerned about the real-world consequences of your behavior (for example, becoming overweight, not being able to find a love relationship, health risks, etc.). It may also be afraid of other people's judgments or rejection because of your behavior.

The Inner Controller tends to be rigid and punitive. It usually has fixed and precise standards for how you should live. It may have an opinion about exactly how much you should eat, what you should eat, when and with who you should eat etc. (This goes for any addiction: e.g. drinking, how you express your sexuality, spend money, etc.) It tries to control your behavior in these areas by telling you what to do and criticizing you whenever you overstep or ignore its rules. Following its dictates can generally keep it at bay, but if you get out of line, then it attacks furiously.

There are two problems with the Inner Controller. One is that its standards are often too extreme and rigid. The second is that it tries to enforce these standards by attacking and shaming you when you fail to measure up to them.

The Inner Controller is in conflict with the Indulger, which habitually overindulges, in this case with food. Both parts can be considered Protectors in IFS terms. This means that each is trying to protect a younger part, or exile, from coming to consciousness and flooding the system with its pain. The Controller is often protecting a part that feels rejected and wants to fit in and be accepted. The Controller may be trying to enforce societal standards of physical acceptability by controlling weight.

We see the  Indulger as also being a protector. It may be protecting a younger or more primitive exile, one that needs to be soothed or nourished. It uses food or other substances to numb and quiet that exile so its pain won't be felt.

Another common protector is The Rebel. This part is also polarized with the Food Controller. It tries role it to assert itself and bring some autonomy or personal value into the system. It fights the rigid controls of the Controller with an attitude of, "You can't tall me what to do." Of "Oh you say I can't eat that cookie, watch me eat the whole box!"

When dealing with people with addictions we also often notice a Foggy Part that makes it difficult to stay conscious of any aspect of the relationship with food, or efforts to bring focused attention to the issue. The Foggy Part causes you to zone out when you are eating so that you don't keep track of how much you consume, or when you eat. We have all heard stories from people about waking up to candy wrappers or evidence of unconscious nighttime eating. It can make you unconscious at the grocery store when you are making purchases, or when ordering at a restaurant.

The Foggy part also makes tracking your inner work difficult by not letting you track yourself adequately. Have you ever not been able to remember why you thought you were interested in exploring yourself anyway?

The Inner Defender is another part that usually appears in the cluster of parts around eating issues. It is a protector part tries to fight with the Critic to prove you are worthwhile. Though its motivations are noble, it is often imagined as an adolescent, or even young child who is ultimately powerless in the face of authority.

Using the IFS model, we know that each of the above parts are protectors. This means that they are each acting in a protective way to keep an exiled part that holds more privative pain from surfacing and flooding the system. In order to heal the cluster of parts evoked by this issue and establish healthy behavior it is necessary to get to know and appreciate each of these protectors, gain access to the exiled parts, get to know them and bring some healing to them which will help them relax. IFS is a wonderful therapeutic technology for addressing this issue.

IFS brings to us the concept of Self, that core aspect of our nature that is our spiritual center. The Self is relaxed, open, curious and accepting of ourselves and others. In the IFS therapy model, the Self is the healer in the system.

We have introduced the concept of The Inner Champion as an aspect of the Self that supports us and helps us to feel good about who we are. The Champion is based on the energy of the Inner Defender. As we work with the Defender, we can bring it out of the past and  into the present and we can heal the exile that it protects. As we do this  there is a natural arising of Inner Champion.

This Champion is the perfect magic bullet for the Inner Controller Inner Critic - Indulger polarization that is at the core of eating, and other addictive issues.  It encourages us to be who we truly are rather than fitting into the box our Inner Critic creates for us. It helps us as we deal with the negative impacts of our Inner Critic. One way to think about your Inner Champion is that it is the ideal supportive parent that you always wished you had. It can help us stand up to the Controller in a mature way and if necessary get it to back off.  It nurtures our Criticized Child and the exiles we discover are being protected by the Controller and the Indulger; it provides inspiration and guidance is gaining perspective about who we are and where we are on our personal life journey; and it supports us in making realistic plans in terms of taking action to care for ourselves in  healthy ways.

The Depressed Pattern and The Food Controller Pattern

The Depressed Pattern Jay Earley, Ph.D.

When your Depressed Pattern is triggered, you may feel hopeless and low energy. Your natural buoyancy, spark, and energy is literally depressed. You may feel lethargic and believe that there is no point in doing anything because your life seems hopeless. It may be difficult to get up the energy to do much of anything other than go through the motions of your life. You may have little appetite and have difficulty sleeping. You may isolate yourself from most people because you don't see any point in trying to relate to them. Of course, this often contributes to the sense of bleakness in your life. Your inner landscape may feel empty and gray with no life. You may feel sadness and grief, or you may just feel dead inside. You might also feel anxious and agitated. You may also feel bad about yourself. You may feel that your life is hopeless because there is something intrinsically wrong with you. You are worthless or inadequate and that's why your life can't work. You believe that you are deeply flawed. You carry much pain about this, though the pain may be buried behind the bleakness.

The Food Controller Pattern Bonnie Weiss, LCSW

The Food Controller tries to regulate your eating when it thinks it isn't good for you or might be dangerous. It believes that without its efforts, you will be out of control and ruin your life. This can result in being obsessed with food, worrying about your weight and your figure, feeling bad about your eating habits, going on diets, making resolutions, or feeling shame about lapses in meeting your eating goals. The Food Controller may be rigid and punitive. It may have fixed and precise standards for how you should eat. The biggest problem may be that the Food Controller Inner Critic tries to enforce these standards by attacking and shaming you when you fail to measure up to them. Even if the Food Controller wants what's best for you, it often goes about this in a harsh, punitive way. It may have learned this strategy from the way your parents tried to control you as a child. Your Food Controller may be activated even if your eating isn't out of line. You may feel as though you are fighting a chronic battle with someone who doesn't see you. This kind of Food Controller has an unrealistic view of who you are or the danger of your impulses. It may attack you for really enjoying your food or for occasionally eating too much. Or even if you are somewhat impulsive with food, your Food Controller may react in a way that is much more harsh, punitive, and rigid than is needed. Your culture may have an unreasonable ideal of thinness, and this can result in feeling that you have to rigidly control your normal impulses. In this case, your Food Controller may work against what is natural and healthy for you. On the other hand, your Food Controller might be reacting to an out-of-control Indulger Pattern that is having a damaging effect on your life. There may be a real need to moderate your eating, for the sake of your health or your appearance, but with the Food Controller Pattern, this is done in a harsh, shaming way rather than a constructive way. It may make you feel really bad about yourself whenever you binge. Paradoxically, this often stimulates a need for self-soothing, which is often done by more eating. So often the judgmental strategy that the Food Controller uses actually backfires and makes things worse.

The Foggy Part and Eating Issues

Bonnie Weiss, LCSW

There are a number of distinct parts that typically show up in clients with eating issues. They are most often tangled in a way that make them hard to distinguish and therefore work with. Of course, not everyone has all of these parts, and we try not to reify them by giving them specific names. However, naming their functions often unlocks deeper understanding. It allows movement on previously difficult emotional issues and shifts in historically stuck behaviors.

The Foggy Part is the part that causes a lapse in conscious awareness of your relationship to yourself and what is going on at the moment or what has just happened. It manifests as dullness, confusion, blankness, emptiness, or an absent-minded feeling. Sometimes the Foggy Part can just muck up and confuse things so it feels like you have lost the thread of a conversation. At other times, it appears as complete dissociation, where actual time is lost and you experience having left the room or left your body.

In my Beyond Eating classes, this is an especially important part for people to identify. It provides clarity about a number of very frustrating experiences. When you can name this part, appreciate its function, and develop a working relationship with it, the work opens and there is often significant movement.

How the Foggy Part Manifests

1. As your Indulger Part (the part that overeats) takes over, the Foggy Part may cause you to dissociate and loose consciousness of what you are eating, how much you have consumed, or when you have passed the "full" point. You may lose sensation in your body and fail to feel, for a while, the impact of eating large amounts of food.

2. As you work on yourself to explore your internal system, your Foggy Part may confuse things, cause you to loose track of what you are feeling or working on so you can't productively follow the thread of your inquiry. This Foggy Part seems invested in keeping the system in place and not allowing any consciousness that would threaten change. You may suddenly feels lost, silly, embarrassed, or distracted. You can't remember what you were talking about or why you were bothering to talk about it in the first place.

3. The Foggy Part defends against awareness of deep conflicts around self-care. If you have a strong People-Pleasing Part that focuses attention on others rather than yourself, you may give other people the nurturing they need while ignoring your own needs. Your Foggy Part may prevent you from being aware of yourself while around others, and you may get confused and muddled if asked what you want. Your Foggy Part may be protecting a Vulnerable Part whose needs were not met when you were a child. It expects that if those needs were brought out into the open today they would ignored again.

4. The Foggy Part creates a smoke screen that makes dealing with eating-related issues impossible. If you have a Helpless Part that believes that you can't change, the fog may roll in and distract or confuse you to keep you from exploring this part. The Foggy Part seems to be holding your system in place. Change may be threatening while helplessness is known and safe. The Fog keeps you from exposing deeper needs, vulnerabilities, and trauma that it thinks are too dangerous.