Think back to when you were wholehearted about something
– head, heart and gut all shouting ‘Yes’ to it. Revisit that
moment, now. Remember what you saw at that time, what
you heard, what you felt. That is congruence, and you can
use that as a model for checking your congruence on future
occasions.
Now consider a time when you were pulled in different direc-
tions. Maybe you ‘thought’ something was right but you felt
it was wrong . . . Revisit that moment, too, and remember the
sights, sounds and feelings that go with it. That is incongru-
ence, and it can be your model for that in the future.
Clients can learn to calibrate themselves for congruence or
incongruence. This can be a hugely useful tool in decision-
making: a decision about which you are congruent is usually
a good one.
