Recent studies have shown that people who described themselves as optimists were healthier and had lower overall death rates than pessimists. Plus, we all know what it’s like to be around someone with a pessimistic attitude: before long, you feel that way too. So how do you develop a sense of optimism when negative events and experiences are often the focus of our culture, media, and conversations?
Optimism is a skill that can be learned through a set of techniques that can be practiced, according to Martin Seligman, the “Father of Positive Psychology” and author of Learned Optimism. It’s more than positive thinking or looking on the bright side, which can often push feelings and events aside that need to be realistically acknowledged and addressed. Seligman calls this “flexible optimism” and says it starts with being aware of your thoughts, initially writing them down, and then taking action to change them. It’s also about how you communicate and the language you use, which can really have an effect on the people around you.
I always thought optimists were born that way, and it wasn’t until I was in graduate school that I realized it was a skill that could be learned and practiced. I had learned along the way to “look on the bright side,” and to “think positive,” but after awhile, it was not that effective. I wanted more.
Optimism differs from positive thinking because it is more of a general tendency to expect the best possible outcome or focus on the most hopeful aspects of a situation, even if it also has negative qualities and consequences. Winston Churchill said, “A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.”
Positive thinking, a term coined by author Norman Vincent Peale in his 1952 book, The Power of Positive Thinking, was a three step process of practicing self-hypnosis, attaining divine power to use for oneself, and eliminating and avoiding all negativity in life. While we can read that now and recognize its limitations, it has been a popular book and is still widely read today. While Norman Vincent Peale’s suggestion to avoid all negativity in life is impractical, if you want to become more optimistic you might want to limit your exposure to the media and negative images. This is not to say you shouldn’t watch the news or read the paper, ignoring important world events and situations, but constant exposure to the media may not be healthy and may contribute to a more pessimistic outlook. Sometimes it helps to limit your exposure to people who are pessimistic, too.
The average person has more than 12,000 thoughts a day, and most are so automatic we don’t even realize it. We can, though, pay attention to how those thoughts are communicated to the people around us. For example, if you have a friend who just lost her job and is looking to you for support, this might not be the best time to tell her you’re not optimistic about the economy. Asking her, “Do you have a job yet?” may not be all that helpful, either. What may help, though, is to convey a sense of optimism about her strengths and ability to weather the transition, recognizing that the economy is a factor.
A study involving 180 Catholic nuns (called the Nun Study) found that how nuns viewed life while young correlated with how long they lived. This supports previous findings regarding the connection between optimism and longevity. How do you view your own life? Do you tend to see the glass half full or half empty? One way to find out is to take note of your thoughts and language for a few weeks in a notebook. You’ll probably find you’re much more aware of what other people say and do as well. This can be a first step in making a change in how you think and communicate.
No matter how optimistic we can be, bad things happen to good people, and life includes suffering. Becoming an optimist will not change that, but it may make a difference in your health, longevity, outlook on life, and communication with other people, and that’s a good reason to make it a part of your life. “Optimism is the human personification of spring,” wrote Susan Bissonette, and who doesn’t look forward to spring?
