RUMI

Cada árbol y cada planta del prado
parece estar danzando;
aquéllos con ojos comunes
sólo los verán fijos e inmóviles.

30 nov. 2013

I release any negative beliefs about aging.

I release any negative beliefs about aging. I intend to be healthy and feel good until the day I die.

Soul Love

People treat you the way you are treating yourself. For instance, if someone is rejecting you, you can explore how, in some way, you are rejecting a part of yourself or your soul. Perhaps you reject your deeper urges or push away your feelings. If someone is putting up walls between you, ask yourself where you are putting up walls in your life. If someone is ignoring, neglecting, or criticizing you, discover the ways you are ignoring, neglecting, or criticizing yourself.

Soul Love

The Ultimate Problem-Solving Repertoire How A Course in Miracles Has Helped Us in Couples Counseling— and How It Could Become a Helper of the World by Greg Mackie

http://www.circleofa.org/wp-content/uploads/abw/BetterWay125.pdf

Creating Money: Attracting Abundance

If you feel right now that you do not have enough money, pretend that you have all the money you need and let the emotion of plenty come into your body. Your subconscious does not know the difference between what is really happening and what you imagine to be happening, so it goes out and happily begins to create your pictures for you.

Creating Money: Attracting Abundance

Opening to Channel

Some people have expectations that channeling does not always meet. Initially some people think channeling will connect them with a wise being who will solve all their problems without any work on their part and without any attempt to change. Instead they find that they still need to learn their own lessons; they are still responsible for evolving and dealing with their own lives. Once people accept that their guides are not going to solve all their problems, but instead will give them the tools they need to solve their own problems, they adjust quite well.

Opening to Channel

Spiritual Growth

If you have taken on energy that is not your own, there are ways to release it. Stopping throughout the day and taking several deep breaths will assist you in clearing your energy. Give yourself an imaginary shower of light. As you increase your vibration you will recognize when you are taking in other people's emotions, and you will stop this from happening.

Spiritual Growth

Personal Power Through Awareness

Finding your deepest truth means looking within. It means not blaming other people, not playing the victim, and not spending time feeling sorry for yourself. When you look more deeply at any situation, you can always see that you set it up for your growth. In any situation you feel you were a victim you always had an inkling of what was going on, and ignored opportunities to change things.

Personal Power Through Awareness

Living With Joy

As you go through your day, tell yourself what a beautiful person you are. See the beauty in yourself. Feel your inner strength, acknowledge how good and loving you are. Sense all the light around you. Acknowledge yourself, and as you do so, look for your higher purpose.

Living With Joy

Déficit de Atención y Neurofeedback


29 nov. 2013

Remember what you feed grows


Remember the Aramaic phrase of Abraq ad Habra (abracadabra) which translates to “I will create as I speak”.

Sandra Ingerman
 

Las leyes de la atracción: así elegimos a nuestros amigos

Distorsiones cognitivas que justifican el delinquir

Distorsiones cognitivas que justifican el delinquir

Héctor Eduardo Berducido Mendoza (Universidad Mesoamericana de Guatemala), en su trabajo sobre psicología del delincuente dice:
"Walters,  basándose  en  trabajos  previos  de Yochelson  y  Samenow  (1976),  entre otros,  sostiene  la  tesis  de  que el  delincuente  persistente  emplea  ocho  distorsiones cognitivas básicas, que justifican el delinquir
1.    La auto exculpación, o  justificación de  las razones por haber realizado el delito concreto,  que  son  del  todo  irrelevantes. También  incluye  el  echar  la  culpa  de  aquél  a agentes externos; 
2.    El  corto  circuito,  que  permite  eliminar  la  ansiedad,  los miedos  y  los mensajes disuasorios para el crimen mediante expresiones, gestos o ritualidades; 
3.    La  permisividad  o  autorización,  por  el  que  el  individuo  se  arroga  un  estatus privilegiado, la prerrogativa para satisfacer todos sus deseos; 
4.    El control ambiental u orientación de poder, que inducen al sujeto a que intente controlar  todas  las  circunstancias  que  le  rodean,  señalando  una  visión  simplista  del mundo, dividido entre fuertes y débiles; 
5.    El sentimentalismo, por el que el delincuente pretende aparentar ser una buena persona, mostrando sus cualidades positivas; 
6.    El súper optimismo revela a un sujeto con una visión irreal de la propia valía, de sus atributos y de las posibilidades de evitar las consecuencias de sus acciones; 
7.    La  indolencia cognitiva  supone  la pereza de pensar,  la  ley del mínimo esfuerzo, muy asociado finalmente a:
8.    la inconsistencia en toda empresa que se emprenda, es decir, el fracaso para comprometerse en tareas que requieren de cierto esfuerzo y trabajo.-"

28 nov. 2013

Positive mood seems to promote creativity, flexibility, cooperation and reliance

‘Whereas positive mood seems to promote creativity, flexibility, cooperation and reliance on mental shortcuts, negative moods trigger more attentive, careful thinking, paying greater attention to the external world’

Joseph Forgas

Las afirmaciones pueden hacer sentir pero a las personas con poca autoestima

Lo que ocurre es que cuando una persona con baja autoestima repite frases como 'Soy una persona querible', puede estar pensando 'Bueno, no siempre soy querible'.

 

Repetir frases positivas como "Soy una persona querible" o "Voy a tener éxito" hace que algunos se sientan peor con respecto a sí mismos en vez de levantarles la autoestima, según un estudio divulgado en Estados Unidos.

"Desde al menos la publicación del libro de Norman Vincent Peale El poder del pensamiento positivo (1952), los medios de comunicación han instado a la gente a decir cosas favorables sobre sí misma", indicó el estudio de sicólogos canadienses publicado ayer jueves en Psychological Science.
El informe cita a una popular revista de autoayuda que recomienda a sus lectores: "Prueben recitar: 'Soy poderoso, soy fuerte, y nada en este mundo puede detenerme'". Pero el consejo no funciona para todos.
Para el estudio, los especialistas le pidieron a personas con baja y alta autoestima que repitieran la frase "Son una persona querible", para luego medir los estados de ánimo y los sentimientos de los participantes.
Lo que hallaron es que los individuos que comenzaron el estudio con baja autoestima se sintieron peor luego de repetir esa frase.
"Creo que lo que ocurre es que cuando una persona con baja autoestima repite pensamientos positivos, probablemente tenga pensamientos contradictorios", dijo Wood a la AFP.
"Por lo tanto, si están diciendo 'Soy una persona querible', pueden estar pensando 'Bueno, no siempre soy querible' o 'No soy querible en este sentido' y estos pensamientos contradictorios pueden desbordar los pensamientos positivos", explicó.
A pesar de que los pensamientos positivos sí parecen efectivos cuando forman parte de una terapia más amplia, solos tienden a revertir el efecto que supuestamente tienen que tener, dijo Wood, instando a los libros, revistas y programas de TV de autoayuda a dejar de decirle a la gente que la sola repetición de un mantra positivo levantará su autoestima.
"Es frustrante para la gente cuando lo intenta y no funciona", añadió.
Por lo tanto, las afirmaciones positivas sobre uno mismo hacen que las personas que ya se sienten mal con respecto a sí mismos no se sientan mejor sino peor, concluyó el estudio realizado por los sicólogos Joanne Wood y John Lee, de la Universidad de Waterloo, y Elaine Perunovic, de la Universidad de New Brunswick.

 

‘Love thy neighbour as yourself, but choose your neighbourhood.’

‘Love thy neighbour as yourself, but choose your neighbourhood.’

Louise Beal

Archangel Gabriel


Daily Message ~ Wednesday November 27, 2013

Listen to your heart. It has become a cliche to most of you that you really don’t hear – just a common phrase that has little meaning. But we are here today to ask you to dust off that old expression and to really, truly begin to listen to your hearts.
Your heart helps you become congruent. It gives you clear feedback on what your deepest, truest desires are. As those desires are absolutely essential to living your highest life expression, allowing your heart to lead the way is the way to navigate your life. Your heart cannot lie to you. It only emanates truth, your truth, and leads the way to the experiences your soul desires to have.
The old ways of navigating solely through the mind and control are gone. Moving forward into this brand new age, let your heart lead the way. Embrace your intuition, your emotions, your knowing, your BEing. Flow, create, connect and love which are all specialties of the heart. Find your clarity by asking your heart. Be of service by living by the heart. Do you see? The heart is the true navigator to all the things you seek. ~Archangel Gabriel

 

 Daily Message ~ Tuesday November 26, 2013

Are there any old habits you would like to let go of, once and for all? What positive changes would you like to incorporate into your lives? While people often focus on New Year’s resolutions, the time before the winter solstice is an excellent time to make changes. Solstices lock in progress, acting like an energetic save point. What new habits, new ways of being would you like to embrace before you enter 2014? Now would be an excellent time to make those changes so the upcoming solstice event can help reinforce them and make them part of your being. ~Archangel Gabriel



Daily Message ~ Monday November 25, 2013

Dear Ones, let us suppose you have a control panel in front of you that helps you navigate to your heart’s desires. Would you keep pushing the pause button? Or would you want to keep in motion until everything came to fruition?
It seems silly to think anyone would push pause when they were on their way to love, to healing, to joy, to empowered living and creation. Yet you do this, time and again, every single time you fall into doubt. Allowing doubt to creep in and make you second guess your deepest longings and highest creations is simply allowing your ego self to press pause and stall your progress.
We cannot emphasize enough how important surrender, flow and intention are to living the life of your dreams. Align. Dream. Stay in that heavenly motion that holds all the magic. Know the life of your dreams is just waiting for you to stay in trust, faith and open acceptance long enough for the universe to deliver it all to you. ~Archangel Gabriel

http://trinityesoterics.com/ 

Selective attention test


Finding a meaningful life, not just a happy one

http://www.aeonmagazine.com/world-views/do-you-want-a-meaningful-life-or-a-happy-one/

Roy F. Baumeister is currently the Eppes Eminent Professor of Psychology and head of the social psychology graduate program at Florida State University. He grew up in Cleveland, the oldest child of a schoolteacher and an immigrant businessman. He received his Ph.D. in social psychology from Princeton in 1978 and did a postdoctoral fellowship in sociology at the University of California at Berkeley. He spent over two decades at Case Western Reserve University, where he eventually was the first to hold the Elsie Smith professorship. He has also worked at the University of Texas, the University of Virginia, the Max-Planck-Institute, and the Center for Advanced Study in the Behavioral Sciences.
Baumeister's research spans multiple topics, including self and identity, self-regulation, interpersonal rejection and the need to belong, sexuality and gender, aggression, self-esteem, meaning, and self-presentation. He has received research grants from the National Institutes of Health and from the Templeton Foundation. He has nearly 400 publications, and his 20 books include Evil: Inside Human Violence and Cruelty, The Cultural Animal, and Meanings of Life. The Institute for Scientific Information lists him among the handful of most cited (most influential) psychologists in the world. He lives by a small lake in Florida with his beloved family. In his rare spare time, he enjoys windsurfing, skiing, and jazz guitar.


http://www.psychologytoday.com/experts/roy-f-baumeister

Jóvenes narcisistas: la música los delata

http://diario.latercera.com/2011/05/07/01/contenido/tendencias/26-68072-9-jovenes-narcisistas-la-musica-los-delata.shtml

El árbol de soluciones para el Bullying

http://bullying-entendiendoalaotredad.wikispaces.com/El+%C3%A1rbol+de+soluciones+para+el+Bullying

http://www.acosomoral.org/pdf/Olweus.pdf

27 nov. 2013

The power of appreciation: Mike Robbins at TED


La Psicoterapia Analítico Funcional (Kohlemberg-Tsai) y la Terapia Integrada de Pareja (Jacobson) aplicadas a los problemas en la relación


Managing Loneliness and Heartbreak

Managing Loneliness and Heartbreak

Spiritual Connection: Calling On Spirit

Spiritual Connection: Calling On Spirit

Opening to Love in the Face of Loneliness

Opening to Love in the Face of Loneliness

Spiritual Growth: Sleep 'R' Us

Spiritual Growth: Sleep 'R' Us

Spirituality: Why Having an Experience of God is Not Enough

Spirituality: Why Having an Experience of God is Not Enough

The Fear of Being Alone

The Fear of Being Alone

A Powerful Method for Healing Depression

A Powerful Method for Healing Depression

Food, Anxiety and Depression

Food, Anxiety and Depression

Health: What Really Creates Health and Wellbeing?

Health: What Really Creates Health and Wellbeing?

Self Improvement: We Are Not Meant to Live Alone

Self Improvement: We Are Not Meant to Live Alone

What Are You Telling Yourself About Why You Are Feeling Lonely?

What Are You Telling Yourself About Why You Are Feeling Lonely?

Self Help: Have You Abandoned Yourself?

Self Help: Have You Abandoned Yourself?

Inner Child: The War Zone Versus the Soft Place

Inner Child: The War Zone Versus the Soft Place

Self-Esteeem: Are You Invisible?

Self-Esteeem: Are You Invisible?

Inner Bonding Creating Loneliness

Inner Bonding Creating Loneliness

La relación terapéutica desde el punto de vista conductista


Anxiety, Depression, Stress: Self-Abandonment

Anxiety, Depression, Stress: Self-Abandonment

Inner Bonding On Friendship

Inner Bonding On Friendship

Personal Growth: Defining Self-Worth

Personal Growth: Defining Self-Worth

Self Improvement: Who Do You Think You Are?

Self Improvement: Who Do You Think You Are?

Inner Bonding "I Feel Empty"

Inner Bonding "I Feel Empty"

Friendship: Why Don't I Have Friends?

Friendship: Why Don't I Have Friends?

Are You a Real Friend?

Are You a Real Friend?

26 nov. 2013

Gratitude

“Without gratitude, you may focus only on what’s lacking in your life, rather than what you appreciate. Gratitude keeps you optimistic, and evidence shows that optimism improves your health.”

Lissa Rankin, M.D.

25 nov. 2013

Soul Love

If you are carrying other people's burdens, put them down. Your soul knows that taking responsibility for themselves and their lives is one of the most important ways people can grow and become strong. It knows that people have worked hard to bring about their current circumstances, no matter how difficult or unpleasant, so they can learn and grow. Experiencing the consequences of their actions provides people with the motivation to make changes in their lives. Saving people makes them weaker rather than stronger.

Soul Love

Creating Money: Attracting Abundance

Trust is the link between the mental world and the physical world. It provides continuity during the time that elapses between the conception of an idea and its manifestation. Realize that your dreams are already real on the mental plane; they are just awaiting for the perfect time to appear in your physical reality. Trust your higher self to bring you the right things at the right time.

Creating Money: Attracting Abundance

Spiritual Growth

Expand your consciousness by thinking of the activities in your life right now. Ask questions such as, "What is the true meaning of this activity? How does it fit into the larger picture of my life? How is what I am doing adding more light to the world?" You can receive much information about your specific life purpose and how you may carry it out simply by asking for this information.

Spiritual Growth

Personal Power Through Awareness

Notice your posture around other people. If you are leaning forward, you are giving away your energy and trying to push in on other people's space. If you are leaning way back, you are avoiding their energy, and they are coming at you too strongly. When you are sitting or standing straight, with your shoulders square, you are most in your power, for that is definitely a position of balance and centeredness which allows you to control the energy around you.

Personal Power Through Awareness

Living With Joy

Think for a moment of today or tomorrow. What is your day like? Is there something you could do to give love to someone or to experience more love yourself?

Living With Joy

Whatever else each of us derives from our work...

"Whatever else each of us derives from our work, there may be nothing more precious than the feeling that we truly matter — that we contribute unique value to the whole, and that we’re recognized for it."

Tony Schwartz

24 nov. 2013

~Archangel Gabriel


Daily Message ~ Saturday November 23, 2013

For most of you, trust is the biggest challenge in your enlightenment process. Because of that, your ego self, the part of you that seeks to keep you small, will use that to its advantage and infiltrate, when trust starts to waver, with doubt.
Doubt can be like a virus. It can grind your enlightenment process to a halt in record time. It can shake up your trust, not only in the process, but also your trust in your guides, in Source, and in yourself to make good decisions, as well. It leads to stagnation, resistance, confusion and discomfort.
Trust and faith are a tremendously powerful team that work together. They keep your flow moving, and keep you in surrendered alignment long enough for your heartfelt creations to come to fruition. The greater your trust, the greater your ability to live the life of your dreams.
It is completely normal to fall in and out of trust, Dear Ones! That is part of the human condition, particularly for newly enlightening humans beings. Do not beat yourself up if you find yourself in the grips of doubt. Simply resurrender. Call on your guides and helpers. Connect with the core of truth that always exists within you. Realign with Source and feel your authentic power shimmer and shine from that place.
You cannot get it wrong, Dear Ones, because once you commit to enlighten, anything else will become too uncomfortable for you. You are not being graded on this process! It is merely for you to decide how smooth and comfortable you wish you own personal journey to be. ~Archangel Gabriel

Daily Message ~ Friday November 22, 2013

Trust is another of the vital elements we speak of in your enlightenment process. Trust helps you navigate beyond worry. It keeps you moving forward, in surrender, faith and flow. But it is not just trust in Source, your guides, or the universe we are speaking of. It is also trust in yourself, to stay in the system, to believe you are worthy and moving forward in a way that honours yourself and others.
The enlightening human beings on your planet are the most mindful humans we have ever experienced. You are committed to their growth and expansion. You are not going to suddenly blow it, Dear Ones. It is a self correcting path, which means all movement is forward movement. Rest assured that you are ready for all of this. Trust in yourselves as being the highly advanced souls you are, making a tremendous difference in this amazing process and you will be able to move forward with a greater assuredness and confidence than ever before. ~Archangel Gabriel



Daily Message ~ Wednesday November 20, 2013

A lot of people worry about their ascension process. Have they released enough? Do they meditate enough? Are they “good” enough? Do they have the right teacher? Have they read the right books? What about their pineal gland? Or their lightbody?
Dear Ones, let us reassure you, you are doing a magnificent job! The fact that you are on the planet means you are part of the process. On a soul level, you know exactly what you are doing! The planet knows exactly what she is doing. The sun, each planet, the entire universe knows exactly what it is doing. Your lightbody, just like your physical body, is incredibly intelligent and knows exactly what it needs to do to. There is so very much action that takes place behind the scenes that you are not even aware of! Like all processes of evolution, it is growth and expansion and has its own innate intelligence.
We love that you are so very committed and diligent! Allow the process to unfold, knowing you cannot rush things, nor can you speed them up any more than you can make a flower bloom slower or faster than it is meant to. Trust that if there is anything you need, it will come into your awareness.
You do not need to endlessly look for things to release. If there is something that is not in resonance with where you are going, you will become aware of it in perfect timing and can release it when it shows itself. If there is knowledge you require, the perfect book will land in your hands, or the right teacher will cross your path. If your body requires something, it will let you know. Simply give it what it is asking for.
Take the pressure off yourselves and enjoy this incredible process! Trust in the universe and the incredibly intelligent and intricate process you are part of. If you truly wish to assist, the best way is to stay in your highest alignment through surrender and flow, faith and trust, gratitude and BEingness, and joyful expectation. ~Archangel Gabriel



Daily Message ~ Tuesday November 19, 2013

Dear Ones, love is not a limited commodity that can run out. Many of you feel exhausted by what you thought was love, but it is not love that has left you feeling that way. It is a lack of love, worthiness and appreciation that has left you feeling like that and leery to love again, but to deny love is to deny Source and your own truth.
You cannot be in alignment with Source and ever feel anything but love. Source is an endless wellspring of unconditional love you can tap into whenever you want, that can instantaneously fill you up until you are so full of love it is spilling out of you in all directions. All that is required is to believe and receive.
Once you truly understand you can be overflowing with pure, unconditional love any time you choose, you realize there is more than enough love to go around and you become much more generous in your sharing of it. From choosing to embrace that truth and alignment, you will suddenly find yourself much more peaceful and accepting, loving and BEing, embodying those traits like all the masters before you. ~Archangel Gabriel





Daily Message ~ Monday November 18, 2013

Many of you are aware that you are evolving into unity consciousness, but have a hard time understanding what that will be like. You don’t know how you can accept everything and keep your own unique preferences and personality. Let us explain it to you in this way.
Imagine a large department store. It has many different departments meant to meet the needs of many, yet all the departments are part of the greater whole, that of the entire store. There are many different shoppers within the store who are all equally important, freely moving to whichever area they require.
If you have no young children in your life, you would not have a need for the baby department. This does not mean that you feel there should not be a baby department in the store. This does not mean that you would shun or judge the baby shoppers. You would simply allow them to pass you by on their way to their desired department, understanding it meets their needs beautifully. You completely accept and embrace the fact that all the different areas and all the different people are absolutely perfect as part of the whole of the department store. It is clear that they all support each other.
Do you see? You are all part of the whole. You all bring your unique and wonderful energy to the whole, which is what gives it such depth, support and variety. Unity does not mean you lose yourself in any way. It simply means you are in complete acceptance of the many different aspects that exist within it, while honouring yourself as a beloved and integral part of it all. ~Archangel Gabriel


http://trinityesoterics.com/

"Let the beauty you love be what you do. There are a thousand ways to kneel and kiss the earth."

"Let the beauty you love be what you do. There are a thousand ways to kneel and kiss the earth." - Rumi

21 nov. 2013

Are you attached to being right as a way to control how others feel about you and treat you?

Daily Inspiration

Are you attached to being right as a way to control how others feel about you and treat you? Do you hesitate to speak your truth because you want to be sure you are right? Protecting yourself from others' disapproval by having to be right is not loving to yourself. It is loving to yourself to speak your truth, without judgment, and then courageously deal with the results. By Dr. Margaret Paul

20 nov. 2013

Soul Love

Experience the unconditional love of your soul by receiving your soul's unconditional love for you. Your soul loves you without needing anything from you in return. It loves you when you are close to it and when you are not. Its love is like a river, a current that is always there for you to tap into.

Soul Love

Fata « Nguenté » feat Waly Seck & Mbaye Dieye Faye


Be fully present with what you are doing, and it will lead to better.

Be fully present with what you are doing,
and it will lead to better.
                                ~ Alan Cohen

Personal Power Through Awareness

When people are angry with you, it is often an expression of their hurt. Most people feel that they only get angry with just cause, and only get hurt when someone lets them down, aggravates them, rejects them, or makes unreasonable demands. But anger can also be used to control others. Are you being controlled by someone's anger? Affirm that you will respond to this person's higher self, not their lower, angry self.

Personal Power Through Awareness

Living With Joy

Each time you choose to feel good about yourself, even when someone is criticizing you, putting you down, or acting in a way that you used to respond to with pain, you are choosing joy. Each time you do so you create freedom in your life. You are free from needing other people to act in certain ways for you to be happy. You are free from your own expectations

Living With Joy

19 nov. 2013

Relationships: Moving Beyond Codependency - Saving Your Marriage

Relationships: Moving Beyond Codependency - Saving Your Marriage

Relationship Advice: Should I Give Up Me To Not Lose You?

Relationship Advice: Should I Give Up Me To Not Lose You?

Relationship Help:I'm So In Love, So Why Am I Depressed?

Relationship Help:I'm So In Love, So Why Am I Depressed?

Relationships: If I am Myself, I will end Up Alone

Relationships: If I am Myself, I will end Up Alone

Relationship Advice: 7 Ways to Improve Your Relationship

Relationship Advice: 7 Ways to Improve Your Relationship

5 Relationship Killers and How to Avoid Them

5 Relationship Killers and How to Avoid Them

Relationships: 5 Actions For Successful Relationships

Relationships: 5 Actions For Successful Relationships

Relationships: 10 Signs of a Healthy Relationship

Relationships: 10 Signs of a Healthy Relationship

Relationships: Moving Beyond Codependency - Saving Your Marriage

Relationships: Moving Beyond Codependency - Saving Your Marriage

Relationships: "You're Not Meeting My Needs"

Relationships: "You're Not Meeting My Needs"

Relationships: Empathy vs. Responsibility for Feelings

Relationships: Empathy vs. Responsibility for Feelings

Will Your Next Marriage be Better?

Will Your Next Marriage be Better?

Relationships: Non-Reactivity - A Major Key to Relationship Health

Relationships: Non-Reactivity - A Major Key to Relationship Health

Conflict Resolution: Fight or Flight in Relationship Conflict

Conflict Resolution: Fight or Flight in Relationship Conflict

Relationships, Relationship Advice: Energy Vampires

Relationships, Relationship Advice: Energy Vampires

Relationships: What you Say, What People Hear

Relationships: What you Say, What People Hear

Relationships: When to Listen, When to Walk Away

Relationships: When to Listen, When to Walk Away

Communication Skills: He's Trying to Control Me

Communication Skills: He's Trying to Control Me

Relationships: Prescribing the Symptom

Relationships: Prescribing the Symptom

Relationships: Why Do You Want to Communicate With Your Partner?

Relationships: Why Do You Want to Communicate With Your Partner?

Relationships: 7-Step Foolproof Guide to Creating a Terrible Relationship

Relationships: 7-Step Foolproof Guide to Creating a Terrible Relationship

Relationships: A Major Cause of Relationship Problems

Relationships: A Major Cause of Relationship Problems

Codependent Relationships: Takers and Caretakers

Codependent Relationships: Takers and Caretakers

Are Your Eyes On Your Own Plate?

Are Your Eyes On Your Own Plate?

The ONE Major Cause of Relationship Problems!

The ONE Major Cause of Relationship Problems!

Why Relationships Fail

Why Relationships Fail

Living With Joy

Freedom is your birthright. It belongs to everyone. Now you may say, I am not free in this or that area of my life. I am not free to quit my job, travel the world, or do what I want. You are free — to the degree you believe yourself to be free.

Living With Joy

Personal Power Through Awareness

Sometimes doubts can seem almost overwhelming, and your powerful voice must be even louder to be heard. When you feel yourself going into doubt, questioning your power, your interpretation of things, or your path, talk to that voice. Ask it what it is trying to tell you. Ask what gift it wants to give you. The sooner you acknowledge that there is a gift in that voice of uncertainty, the more quickly it will be quiet and assist you in having what you want.

Personal Power Through Awareness

Spiritual Growth

Love all your thoughts, even those that are limited or fearful. Think of them as small children needing your love and reassurance. If you catch a negative thought, don't make yourself wrong for having it. Love all your negative thoughts and they will have far less power over you.

Spiritual Growth

Creating Money: Attracting Abundance

Learn to listen to your inner guidance. Your inner guidance will lead you to what you are manifesting in the quickest, simplest way. Inner guidance comes from your higher self and speaks to you in the form of feelings, insights, and inner knowing. As your thoughts about what you want go out into the universe, your higher self looks over past, present, and future events; it views the connections and the situations that will need to be created for you to have what you ask for. It then finds the best way to bring them to you. It begins drawing to you certain people, opportunities, and events. It creates opportunities for you to meet people who might assist you and will also benefit from knowing you, for the universe works for the greater good. Your willingness to be spontaneous, follow inner urges and hunches, and listen to strong feelings and act upon them will lead you to your goals.

Creating Money: Attracting Abundance

Soul Love

A very important principle of relationships is that you cannot change another person; you can only transform yourself. You cannot force people to act in certain ways. Punishing, withdrawing, or trying to make people do what you want only strengthens their resistance. It turns your power over to others, making them the source of meeting your needs rather than yourself. You cannot make people change; however you can modify your reaction to their behavior. You can awaken your heart centers and shift your perceptions, beliefs, and thoughts. You can release needing others to alter their behavior, and love and accept them instead.

Soul Love

18 nov. 2013

~Archangel Gabriel



Daily Message ~ Sunday November 17, 2013
If your life is not unfolding in a way that matches what you would like to consciously create, it is likely that there is a self-limiting belief system behind the scenes that is working against those new creations. Much like a computer virus, old worn out beliefs are only harmful when you do not know they are there. Once you become aware that there is something interfering with your operating system, you can easily take the steps required to stop any further damage and cleanse it from your system. Again, with awareness comes authentic power and the opportunity to become an even clearer beacon to what you wish to experience. ~Archangel Gabriel

http://trinityesoterics.com

Each day comes bearing its own gifts. Untie the ribbons.

Each day comes bearing its own gifts. Untie the ribbons.

- Ruth Ann Schabacker -

El cáncer tiene un mensaje importante, ¡escúchalo!



17 nov. 2013

To be surprised, to wonder, Is to begin to understand.

To be surprised, to wonder, Is to begin to understand.
José Ortega y Gasset

Those who wish to sing, always find a song. --Swedish proverb

Those who wish to sing, always find a song. --Swedish proverb

"Sometimes your joy is the source of your smile, but sometimes your smile can be the source of your joy."

"Sometimes your joy is the source of your smile, but sometimes your smile can be the source of your joy." Thich Nhat Hanh

16 nov. 2013

~Archangel Gabriel


Daily Message ~ Friday November 15, 2013

Dear Ones, we have spoken of surrender and flow consistently in our messages to you as being vital aspects to move you forward in an empowered way. Surrender and flow will get the energy moving in your life, will sweep you beyond obstacles and will help you navigate your life with the greatest grace and ease, joy and assistance possible. Many of you have read about it, and thought about it, or perhaps dabbled with it, but today we are going to encourage you to begin a 21 day surrender and flow challenge.
To participate you will make the commitment, in a heartfelt and pure moment, to surrender to Source, or whichever higher power feels right to you. Then you will commit to enter and stay in the flow, with faith and trust for 21 days. This means you will simply follow the path of least resistance, and stay aware of the signs and syncronicities that will point the way on your path of ease. It means that you will commit to staying out of your own way, and allow your guides and helpers to direct you. If you fall out of surrender and flow, you will simply resurrender and reenter the flow. You will give your feedback to the universe in a clear manner by using the power tool of gratitude.
If you give surrender and flow a try, you will find yourself feeling much less stress and will find things starting to unfold in your life with far greater ease. Approach the challenge with open expectation, much like a treasure hunt, waiting to see what marvellous discovery is right around the corner. If you can start to live your life with this new navigation system, you will be openheartedly aligning yourself with the magic that exists all around you and opening yourself up to far greater delight, excitement and comfort, which is what we wish for each and every one of you to experience. ~Archangel Gabriel

http://trinityesoterics.com/

James F Masterson M.D. about the Real Self, Borderline and Narcissism


Barritas Organicas 9 Bar Organic

Barritas Organicas 9 Bar Organic

13 nov. 2013

Challenges of The Dating Scene

Challenges of The Dating Scene

Dating: Why Are People Rejecting Me?

Dating: Why Are People Rejecting Me?

Relationships: Attract at Your Common Level of Self-Love

Relationships: Attract at Your Common Level of Self-Love

Dating: The Dating Scene- Signs of a Promising Relationship

Dating: The Dating Scene- Signs of a Promising Relationship

Effective Communication: Speaking Your Truth to Your Partner

Effective Communication: Speaking Your Truth to Your Partner

Archangel Gabriel


Daily Message ~ Wednesday November 13, 2013

When you surrender, you are acknowledging the Source that you are a part of and that is there to assist you. As you flow, you feel that unconditional love guiding you and moving through you, as flow always takes you to your highest good and to opportunities to be of service, as well. When you truly feel the endless love and support that exists, not just for you but for all, you can move into acceptance and allowing and a deep state of faith and trust. From there, you will realize that all there is left to do is to BE and to love. And that, Dear Ones, is enlightenment. ~Archangel Gabriel

Daily Message ~ Tuesday November 12, 2013

Worry is an energy a great number of human beings struggle with. It is deeply ingrained, as it is a habit that is often passed down from generation to generation. It comes from feeling powerless with life, from the idea that life happens to you and you have little control over it. There is also an association that to worry about someone is to show you care.
Dear Ones, worry is a very dense energy, an energy of resistance. Worry demonstrates a lack of faith and a fear of flow. Once you have fallen into worry, you have shifted out of your highest alignment and out of your authentic power.
We understand it is difficult to move out of such old, well established habits. The easiest way to move out of worry is to surrender it. Give it UP. Realign with your authentic power and focus on what it is you wish to create. Accept that you are loved, connected, helped and guided at all times, as is every single soul on the planet. By doing so you will be supporting the truth and empowerment of all, and from that vantage point you will see how unnecessary the need for worry really is. Simply put, you cannot worry about another and celebrate their divinity at the same time. ~Archangel Gabriel   

http://trinityesoterics.com/

 

10 Ways to Worry Less by Lisabeth Saunders Medlock, Ph.D.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/lisabeth-saunders-medlock-phd/happiness-tips_b_4256914.html?utm_hp_ref=healthy-living

Relationship Deal-breakers

Relationship Deal-breakers

10 cosas que la ciencia dice que te harán feliz

Publicado en: Mente y Cuerpo

En los últimos años los psicólogos y los investigadores han estudiado a personas de todo el mundo para averiguar cómo funcionan las cosas como el dinero, la actitud, la cultura, la memoria, la cultura, la salud, el altruismo, y nuestros hábitos del día a día y como afectan nuestro bienestar y felicidad general.

Aquí están 10 estrategias probadas científicamente para ser feliz.

Saborea los momentos cotidianos

Pausa de vez en cuando para oler una rosa o ver niños jugando. Los participantes del estudio que tomaron tiempo para “saborear” los eventos ordinarios que normalmente apresuramos, o cuándo llegó la noche pensaban de nuevo en los momentos agradables de su día, “mostraron un aumento significativo en la felicidad y la reducción de la depresión”, dice la psicóloga Sonja Lyubomirsky.

Evita comparaciones

Mientras competir con los vecinos o parientes es parte de la cultura moderna, compararnos con los demás puede ser perjudicial para la felicidad y la autoestima. En lugar de compararnos con los demás, hay que centrarnos en nuestra propia realización personal, lo que conduce a una mayor satisfacción, según Lyubomirsky.

Dar al dinero poca importancia en tu lista de prioridades

La gente que pone dinero en lo alto de su lista de prioridades está en mayor riesgo de depresión, ansiedad y baja autoestima, según los investigadores Tim Kasser y Richard Ryan. Sus conclusiones son válidas en todos los países y culturas. “Cuanto más buscamos satisfacciones en los bienes materiales, menos las encontramos allí”, dice Ryan. “La felicidad que trae el dinero tiene una vida media corta, es muy fugaz.” La gente que busca tener más dinero todo el tiempo también tiene puntuaciones más bajas en las pruebas de vitalidad y auto-satisfacción.

Tener metas significativas

“Las personas que se esfuerzan por algo significativo, si se trata de aprender un nuevo oficio o criar hijos morales, son mucho más felices que aquellos que no tienen sueños o aspiraciones fuertes,” dice Ed Diener y Robert Biswas-Diener. “Como seres humanos, en realidad necesitamos un sentido de significado para prosperar.” El profesor de la felicidad residente de Harvard, Tal Ben-Shahar, coincide: “La felicidad se encuentra en la intersección entre el placer y el significado. Ya sea en el trabajo o en casa, el objetivo es realizar actividades que sean personalmente significativas y agradables “.

Tomar la iniciativa en el trabajo

Qué feliz eres en el trabajo depende en parte de la cantidad de iniciativa que tomas. La investigadora Amy Wrzesniewski dice que cuando expresamos creatividad, ayudamos a otros, sugerimos mejoras o hacemos otras tareas en el trabajo, hacemos nuestro trabajo más gratificante y te sientes más en control.

Haz Amigos y Aprecia a la Familia

Las personas más felices tienden a tener buenas familias, amigos y relaciones de apoyo, dice Diener y Biswas-Diener. Pero no es suficiente ser el alma de la fiesta si estás rodeado de conocidos superficiales. “No sólo necesitamos relaciones, necesitamos allegados” que involucran la comprensión y el cuidado.

Sonríe, incluso cuando no tengas ganas

Suena simple, pero funciona. “La gente feliz ve posibilidades, oportunidades y éxito. Cuando piensan en el futuro, son optimistas, y cuando revisan el pasado, tienden a disfrutar de los puntos altos y buenos”, dice Diener y Biswas-Diener. Incluso si no naciste mirando el vaso medio lleno, con la práctica, una actitud positiva puede convertirse en un hábito.

Decir gracias con sinceridad

Las personas que llevan un diario de gratitud una vez por semana son más saludables, más optimistas, y tienen más probabilidades de avanzar hacia el logro de sus metas personales, dice el autor Robert Emmons. La investigación realizada por Martin Seligman, fundador de la psicología positiva, reveló que las personas que escriben “cartas de agradecimiento” a alguien que hizo una diferencia en sus vidas puntúan más alto en felicidad, y más bajo en la depresión y el efecto dura por semanas.

Sal y haz ejercicio

Un estudio de la Universidad de Duke muestra que el ejercicio puede ser tan eficaz como los medicamentos para tratar la depresión, sin todos los efectos secundarios y los gastos. Otra investigación muestra que, además de los beneficios para la salud, el ejercicio regular ofrece una sensación de logro y la oportunidad para la interacción social, aumento de endorfinas y aumenta la autoestima.

Es mejor dar que recibir

Sé altruista, regala parte de tu vida y ten un propósito en ello. El investigador Stephen Post dice que ayudar al prójimo, el voluntariado, o donar bienes y servicios da como resultado una alta motivación, y se obtienen más beneficios a la salud incluso que dejar de fumar. Escuchar a un amigo, enseñar tus habilidades, celebrar los éxitos de los demás y perdonar también contribuyen a la felicidad. La investigadora Elizabeth Dunn encontró que aquellos que gastan dinero en otros reportaron mayor felicidad que aquellos que gastan en ellos mismos.

Avoid Comparisons

Comparing ourselves with others can be damaging to happiness and self-esteem. Instead of comparing ourselves to others, focusing on our own personal achievement leads to greater satisfaction, according to  .

Personal Power Through Awareness

You can calm your emotions by saying inspiring, loving words over and over. You have been given the gift of thought to help you gain mastery over your lower self. Thought is a useful tool for personal transformation. Your mind is a marvelous instrument, capable of bringing the light of wisdom where there is ignorance and darkness.

Personal Power Through Awareness

Living With Joy

Some of you try very hard all the time, pushing yourselves, rushing around and feeling that whatever you do, it is not enough. Trying and working hard to get things done is not necessarily the road to joy. Respect yourself by following your inner flow. Rest, play, think, and take time to be silent. Doing those things that nurture you are ways to increase your self-esteem.

Living With Joy

Relationships: Mending Broken Trust

Relationships: Mending Broken Trust

Savor Everyday Moments



Pause now and then to smell a rose or watch children at play. Study participants who took time to “savor” ordinary events that they normally hurried through, or to think back on pleasant moments from their day, “showed significant increases in happiness and reductions in depression,” says psychologist Sonja Lyubomirsky.

Inner Bonding Why do People lie?

Inner Bonding Why do People lie?

Inner Bonding Dating: Date Lying

Inner Bonding Dating: Date Lying

First-Date Blues – What Can you Learn?

First-Date Blues – What Can you Learn?

Single? What Are Your False Beliefs About Relationships?

Single? What Are Your False Beliefs About Relationships?

12 nov. 2013

Soul Love

You may be trying to find or create perfect love in your life. Pure, clear, true love exists at the soul level, between souls. Even the most understanding person will not always be able to love you the way your personality wants to be loved. Some may come close, yet there will always be places where you do not feel completely loved, understood, or appreciated. With this knowledge, you can be more understanding and forgiving of others, knowing that there is no way they could ever completely satisfy you.

Soul Love

Socrates showed us that thinking the truth is not enough.

Socrates showed us that thinking the truth is not enough. Truth demands to be lived.

- Americ Azevedo -

Opening to Channel

In conscious channeling the guide impresses the message upon your mind through higher telepathy. As in all telepathy, general ideas can be transmitted more readily than specifics such as names, dates, and details. To develop the skill of getting specific details often requires a long period of attunement with your guide. Many transmissions are best sent as pictures and images, and then must be translated into words using your vocabulary and conceptual framework.

Opening to Channel

Spiritual Growth

There are many paths to enlightenment. Choose the path that is most joyful to you and in alignment with your values. You may choose one path at one time and another path at another time, or you may try several paths at the same time. Go toward those disciplines you are drawn to; don't feel you must pursue something that doesn't appeal to you just because others say it is the "right" way to grow.

Spiritual Growth

11 nov. 2013

Moving Forward on Your Life Purpose, Doreen Virtue


November 11 - 17, Doreen Virtue's Weekly Angel Oracle Card Reading


Creating Money: Attracting Abundance

Think of being "rich" as having enough wealth to carry out your life's work. You may not need many material possessions to have "enough". For instance, your life purpose may be to work with nature. You may live in a log cabin, spend little money, and still have all the natural resources you need to carry out your purpose. In that case, you would be rich. What is important is having enough money to do the work you came to do, and not having so much that it keeps you from the work you came to do. Having enough money means being able to put your vision into action, to transform the energy around you into a higher order. Some people may need many material things to accomplish their life purpose. They may need to work with a group of people who will only listen to and respect them if they have an appearance of wealth and power.

Creating Money: Attracting Abundance

Creating Money: Attracting Abundance

The greatest miracle is life itself. You are the miracle, and you can create anything you want, which is another great miracle. There are no barriers, no limits to what you can have. The only limit is what you can picture for yourself, ask for, and believe you can have.

Creating Money: Attracting Abundance

Opening to Channel

We guides have many ways to reach you. We may send you a greeting in the way of a rainbow or a special crystal. The lyrics of a song you just heard on the radio may seem to speak directly to your heart. You may have a dream with an answer in it. A class or teacher may help you find the answer. Guides have many ways to reach you.

Opening to Channel

Personal Power Through Awareness

Honoring your deepest truth is a great gift to you and to the other person. This does not mean that truth should be expressed by making the other person wrong. Your deepest truth will be spoken with love for yourself and for the other person. If what you say is damaging or harmful to the other person, then you have not come from your deepest truth, which is always loving.

Personal Power Through Awareness

~Archangel Gabriel

Daily Message ~ Sunday November 10, 2013

Dear Ones, we urge you to look for the abundant blessings and beauty all around you. Your world is a spectacular place! The more you focus on how amazing, magical and abundant your surroundings are, the more you will stay present and in appreciation, which fully supports your highest alignment and joy. There is wonder, even in weeds, if only you have the eyes to see. ~Archangel Gabriel

http://trinityesoterics.com/

9 nov. 2013

~Archangel Gabriel

Daily Message ~ Saturday November 9, 2013

One of the most difficult things for humans to do is to leave something alone when they think a person is wrong. In reality, nothing is ever wrong. Every soul is having the exact experience they wish to have, for whatever reason, you simply are not privy to that information. Practicing acceptance and allowing is a beautiful demonstration of faith, both in the person and their ability to be the expert on their own path, and the universe to be lovingly providing exactly what that soul is wishing to experience for their highest good. The only thing that you are truly qualified to decide, as the expert of your own unique life expression, is what is right, or wrong, for you. ~Archangel Gabriel

http://trinityesoterics.com/

How to Be Loving Instead of “Too Nice” — by Doreen Virtue


Assertiveness for Earth Angels

"Earth Angels are obsessed with other people’s happiness. If anyone whom you love is unhappy, you become upset. You may blame yourself for their unhappiness, which creates the Earth Angel cycle of co-dependency, where your own happiness is dependent upon another’s. And since you can’t control other people’s happiness, you feel unable to predict or control your own happiness since it’s contingent upon others being happy.

Earth Angels are usually “conflict phobic,” meaning that they fear arguments and confrontations. Angry people are the opposite of happy people, to an Earth Angel. So if faced with an angry person, an Earth Angel will shut down and usually comply with the angry person’s wishes. Earth Angels feel like it’s their fault if someone’s unhappy or angry. They feel like they’ve failed in their mission to bring happiness to others. As a result, Earth Angels will do practically anything to keep the peace!

Their conflict phobia makes Earth Angels targets for manipulative people who take advantage of others’ niceness. Before they learn their Earthly lesson about holding boundaries, Earth Angels usually fall under the spell of narcissistic people who only care about their own needs. We’ll discuss this topic in depth throughout this book.

Earth Angels find themselves in a bind because their life purpose is to bring peace to the world. Earth Angels are lights sent from heaven to shine peace and happiness and lift others’ consciousness and vibrations. So Earth Angels are usually the world’s kindness, nicest, and gentlest people! In fact, they pride themselves on being sweet in the roughest of situations (although Earth Angels do lose their tempers when pushed to their limit).

Earth Angels view themselves as tough, even though they’re highly sensitive. They shoulder other people’s burdens and rarely ask for help from others. If help is offered, Earth Angels won’t accept it. They’re afraid of “bothering” anyone. An Earth Angel thinks: “If I allow this person to help me, I’m making them go to a lot of trouble which might result in them feeling tired or sad. I don’t want to inflict that on another person, so I’ll just do everything myself.”

Because Earth Angels can see everyone’s hidden potentials and inner light, they tend to overlook other people’s hurtful behavior – especially towards themselves. An Earth Angel will make excuses about someone who’s mistreating them. The Earth Angel will say, “Oh they didn't mean it, it wasn't that bad,” or “They were just having a bad day.” The person who’s acting hurtfully doesn't need to expend any effort in justifying their behavior, because the Earth Angel does it for them!

How is someone supposed to learn about the effects of their behavior if Earth Angels are constantly making excuses for them? How is a person supposed to take responsibility for their life, if Earth Angels are offering to do everything for them?

Earth Angels are here to bring more light into the world, not to enable people’s egocentric behavior! By constantly giving in all of their relationships, Earth Angels suffer from symptoms of imbalances, including:

Resentment. Feeling used for being nice, and not having the niceness reciprocated. This resentment builds up and becomes a toxic acidic energy which sours the Earth Angel and can lead to health consequences.

Fatigue. Constantly giving is draining on your time, energy, finances, and other resources. You may stay up late and get up early to have enough time to give to others.

Money Issues. Are you paying for everything? This is an unhealthy imbalance in your relationships.

Health Issues. Earth Angels develop serious health issues from their energy imbalances. These can range from skin issues (repressed anger) to weight issues (protecting yourself with body fat) to throat issues (fear of speaking up) to breast issues (nursing everyone until you’re drained).

If you have high self-esteem, you’ll choose relationships with nice people who won’t take advantage of you. However, most Earth Angels are attracted to unhappy people who need “fixing.” This gives the Earth Angels a sense of purpose.

You might meet truly nice people, but not notice or be attracted to them because they’re already healed. So your heart beats faster when you meet unhappy or angry people, because they present a challenge. “I can make him happy,” you unconsciously decide.

Other people can sense that you’re desperate for them to be happy. So they start to take advantage of you and depend upon you for their entertainment, support, and happiness. And when they’re unhappy (which is most of the time, because only they can give happiness to themselves and we’re unhappy when we’re taking advantage of someone else, or looking outside of ourselves for happiness), they blame you! And you then blame yourself and your light dims.

Part of your life’s purpose is learning how to have healthy boundaries with others. It’s about loving people in a way that’s healthy, instead of “enabling” them.


"The only way to deal with a selfish or narcissistic person or corporation is to have clear boundaries. They will only respect you if you stand up for yourself. If you just smile and go along with them, they won't respect you, and they'll abuse you even more.

You can have boundaries and stand up for yourself lovingly and peacefully. But being conflict-phobic and avoiding conflict just invites more abuse from those who are narcissistic.

Narcissists will try to control you by manipulating you with fear. Studies show that animals or people who surrender to physically or emotionally abusive situations develop "learned helplessness" or depression.

There is NOTHING TO FEAR by speaking up, as long as you do so with love and peace. Speaking up and setting clear boundaries is the only way to gain respect from your own self and those who aren't naturally thoughtful.

In what ways have you stood up for yourself? And what did you learn from the experience? "

"Do people take advantage of your niceness? In her new book, Assertiveness for Earth Angels: How To Be Loving Instead of “Too Nice”, Doreen Virtue teaches Earth Angels—those extremely sweet people who caremore about others’ happiness than their own—how to maintain their innerpeace and loving nature while at the same time holding boundaries. It’s about discovering and overcoming fears about saying “no,” and about howto ask for what you want from those around you and from the universe. It’s for anyone who wants to learn the art of speaking up inrelationships and in their activism about issues related to theworld—and negotiating your earthly needs in heavenly ways.

Avoiding Conflict

Whenever we avoid conflict by keeping our feelings to ourselves, we do ourselves and others a disservice. This is a form of dishonesty and manipulation. We’re trying to control the other person’s reactions by controlling what we tell them.

So when someone asks you if you’re upset and you say that you aren’t when you really are, you’re being controlling. You’re trying to keep them from being angry with you or from starting an argument with you. Or, you’re holding your feelings inside to prevent the other person from seeing that you are hurt.

Now, that doesn’t mean you have to go to the other extreme and bulldoze the other person with the blunt truth.

There’s an in-between way to handle conflict that’s just right and very healthy and honest. After you’ve collected your thoughts and feelings, go to the person and say this magical phrase: “I’d like to clear some things with you.”

This nonthreatening phrase keeps communication open because the other person doesn’t feel accused. Start by taking a deep breath and silently praying for strength and a clear mind. Even though your heart may be racing and you might even be perspiring, know that anytime you do something for the first time, you’ll feel intimidated or afraid. Each time you practice a new behavior, it becomes more natural and easier.

Look the other person in the eye and say to him or her from your heart and without apology: “I really care about our relationship, so I need to share my feelings in order for us to clear them.”

Now, the other person may feel threatened by this and might immediately become defensive or even argumentative. Don’t let this throw you, unless the other person becomes verbally or physically abusive.

(Don’t try to negotiate with an abusive person, especially if he or she intoxicated. If abuse occurs, leave immediately and seek appropriate support or protection.)

In most situations, others will be open to hearing you. During your discussion, it’s vital that you own your feelings. This means: don’t use blaming or shaming words. Even if you do blame them, saying that you do will shut down all further communication.

Use phrases such as I feel, I felt, and to me. This way, you’re not poking and prodding at the other person and inadvertently provoking their defensiveness.

Do your best to keep your cool while talking about and owning your feelings. If you start to cry, let yourself be real. The same with anger: allow yourself to be authentic, but don’t act on this emotion, such as by yelling or calling names. Also, please don’t put yourself down in any way.

Don’t diminish, disparage, or apologize for your feelings . . . ever! Remember: You have a right to your feelings, even if other people don’t understand or agree with them! Your feelings are your signals of deep truths inside of you. They’re the language of your soul, and they need you to listen to them.

After you’ve talked about your feelings, allow the other person to explain his or her own. There are always two sides to every story. However, notice your gut feelings while you’re listening. If you get an uneasy feeling that the other person is covering his or her tracks or being dishonest with you, then note that—because he or she probably is.

As your assertiveness level grows stronger, you’ll have the courage to say to a person who’s lying to you, “I don’t believe what you’re saying,” or something equivalent. But for now, just notice that you get the feeling that he or she is being dishonest, manipulative, or defensive.

This isn’t the kind of person you want to spend much time with. Those are toxic behavior patterns that permeate all of that individual’s relationships.

If the other person starts blaming you or is defensive, the conversation will go in an unhealthful direction. Blaming is a key symptom of the ego’s fears about being exposed. As long as one or both of you are involved in blaming, nothing will get resolved.

Toxic relationships will pull you down every time. You don’t need to have a toxic relationship when there are so many nontoxic potential friends and partners available. Never believe you have to settle for an unhealthy relationship. You don’t.

Boundaries

A boundary is your limit, which no one can overstep or violate. No matter who the other person is or how much you love him or her, your boundary is something that he or she is not allowed to breach.

For instance, I have boundaries in all of my relationships that dictate that you must treat me with respect. I, in turn, will treat you with respect. This is a nonnegotiable boundary for me, and if anyone violates this and is disrespectful toward me, I will try to clear the energy by discussing my feelings and boundaries, and then listening to the other person. If he or she continues to be disrespectful toward me, the relationship is over, without any guilt on my part. I still love the person, but because of the behavior overstepping my firm boundary, I no longer have contact with him or her. Boundaries are a necessary part of self-care, just like washing your hair or wearing shoes to protect your feet. They are healthy, normal, and necessary.

Every relationship has issues and negotiations about each person’s personal boundaries. So it’s not whether you have conflict, but how you deal with conflict that matters for a long-term relationship.

Personal boundaries include how much . . .

. . . body space and distance from other people you need.

. . . time alone you prefer.

. . . affection and romance you need.

. . . you need to hear words of affection.

. . . you need your personal items to be left alone and untouched by others.

. . . you require honesty, reliability, and sobriety within the relationship.

. . . financial equality and fairness matter to you [. . . and so forth].

Part of being an assertive Earth Angel is learning how to have the strength and the courage to maintain your boundaries. It can get exhausting when it feels like other people are trying to step all over your boundaries. It might wear you down, and you start to think: Does this really matter? Well, it does!

Your inner self relies upon your outer self for caretaking. You might say that your inner self is like a little child you’re nurturing. That means that if it’s tired or needs to play, your outer self should honor this and not push your inner self beyond its limits.

Even though the other person may be disappointed or even angry when you say no, believe me when I tell you that he or she does understand. Remember that the other person is human, too, and knows what limitations are like. Even if your refusal comes as a disappointment, deep down he or she will respect you for it!

When you say no, you’re modeling healthy behavior for others. Part of the reason why they may react angrily toward you is because it’s never occurred to them that they could say no to unreasonable demands put upon their own time!

So when you do something that people haven’t seen you do previously—like saying no—they may be surprised. They may take your no personally, and it’s okay for you to briefly explain that this isn’t anything personal and has to do with you maintaining clear boundaries with respect to your schedule.

Don’t feel like you have to explain why you’re saying no, though. The more you explain why, the more leverage the other person has, which he or she can use to manipulate you into changing that no into a yes.

Boundaries mean that you teach people what you will and won’t accept in the relationship. They can be a lot of work, but that’s what it takes to build a healthy relationship with yourself and others.

Another important boundary is to respect your right to schedule your time. Don’t allow others to dictate your schedule to you. For instance, you have the right to not answer the phone or doorbell when it rings, and to not feel obligated to immediately answer e-mails or social-media posts. If someone asks you to drop everything to drive him or her across town, you have the right to say no. It’s like the old adage “A lack of planning on your part doesn’t constitute an emergency on my part.” We must overcome impulsive rescuing tendencies.

Source Is the Only Source

A lot of people use guilt to manipulate others into getting their way. They also include flattery mixed with guilt. So, as an example, they’ll say, “Only you can help me; and if you don’t help me, there will be horrible consequences for me.”

As a sensitive Earth Angel, you don’t want anyone to suffer, so you allow the other person’s words to manipulate and control you. Then you feel weak and used, as well as resentful and angry. Add to this the frustration that arises because you’ve backtracked on your promise to take excellent care of yourself . . . and you’ve got a heap of toxic energies inside your mind, emotions, and body.

It’s so important to remind yourself that every person has the same Source: God. Those who play with your emotions to get their way are creations of God, just like you and everyone else. You’re not their God, nor are you their Source. So, allow Source God to be the person’s caretaker. Pray for guidance about how you can truly help him or her gain strength and be self-sufficient.

Of course, there will be instances where you’re acting as an Earth Angel and bringing forth God’s help through your efforts. But those instances are clearly guided by love, not by guilt.

If you’re giving because of guilt, it’s not true or pure giving, as was discussed in the previous chapter. Your gift out of guilt is tainted with toxic energies."